Are we in control or we are in control?

Have you ever felt that you're in control in your life and then one day when you think about it you start having second thoughts that perhaps everything really have been in set out for you.

I believe that everything in this grand universe, from the macro to the submicron level, we are all dictated by a massive set of quantum algorithm that tells everything how to process and proceed to the next step. Imagine a computer code that runs a program.

The movements of the celestial bodies across the skies, the sun, the moon, the planets, eclipses, they can be predicted, calculated with certain formulae. This is akin to programming, just to put it plainly.

Living beings, although may seem to be going on about randomly in their movements. From another perspective, the human nature, a set of behaviours that are associated to types of people, may not be random at all. Our own self have set of behaviours that seems to be affected by the balances of chemicals that flows throughout our system. How we are brought up, what we are thought to do given certain circumstances, these are all part of the process that they follow through.

This brings me to predestination or fate.
Choose Your Own Adventure books were one of my favourite books to read. In those books, you read and play as the main character and as you go through the pages, when you reach a certain point of the plot you're given a set of choices on how your character will proceed. The outcome of each choices are different and it will dictate how your character will reach the end of the story; either a fiery death or succeed in your quest.

That is, in a simple way, of explaining how I think fate works.

In life, we make hundreds of decisions daily. Our life progress is based on the choices that we make. The outcomes of each choices have been written. The free-will given that puts us in control in our life is the options to choose. Think about the possible number of permutations. Infinite!

If the choices are already given/pre-written, then what are we really? Following the steps in the very intricate algorithm right down to the dot. Are we allowed to make non-scripted decisions? What happens if we do?

My mind is simply blown thinking of the grand design, the universal law that governs all the things in this life and beyond. If the worldly world is a computer, then life is an algorithm. How great the architect is!

I like TV, but I think I liked it too much for my own good

I love TV. For me, it's the equivalent of books, saying it in a crude way.
While I was growing up, TV used to be make us disciplined. Me planned our days activities based on TV schedules.
Pagi = sekolah
Tengah hari = I think there was a drama show during lunch time, then go for mengaji Al-Quran
Petang = tengok cerita drama Jepun, then play outdoors
Malam = doing homework while watching Pi Mai Tang Tu or 3+1
Sabtu = the reason why we don't sleep till noon is Saturday cartoon shows!

Remember "Intisari Rancangan"? I used to read it to see whether there'll be any interruptions to my daily plan.

You have to watch the show as they are aired on the telly. If you missed it, then you'll have to ask your friends at school what happened. What ever you get to watch was decided by the TV station (and your parents). So maybe you don't like like wrestling shows, but you have to watch it anyways because majority wins. Or the only good show on TV that night was Hiburan Minggu Ini (it's really a good show, especially when there was Sudirman that one time).

The VCR came and helped us a bit with watching shows that we missed; IF we know how to set the timer to record the show On-TIME. Imagine the disappointment of returning home after a long weekend lunch outside only to find that the VCR did't record the show because the clock on the LED display was blinking 12:00.

Nowadays, everyone has their own screens, minimum one per person. TV shows now has cloned themselves into apps. With just a decent internet line, you can watch anything you want anytime you wish. The TV stations doesn't have a firm grip on your life schedule anymore and more power to the people. Isn't that dandy?

Well, not so. IMHO, too much of a good thing is not really that good.
take it from my own experience of binge watching episodes of Criminal Minds or Downton Abbey in one day just because I can. Tengok sampai rasa nak muntah. I'm happy while I watching the show, but after a day gone by, I am filled with shame and regret because of wasting a whole day in bed like a slob. Then comes next weekend, I'll repeat the cycle. Binge watch, and feel bad for myself, then repeat. I am an adult. Imagine children being given the same freedom of choice. I think they'd also want to watch Upin & Ipin sampai minggu depan.

Ko displinkan la diri ko.
Yeah, tell me about it when you can overcome the suspense of the clever cliffhanger that is soooo high up there that makes you want to click "Watch Next episode" while quietly saying this to yourself "it's only going to be 43 mins" and then realise 5 hours later that half a day has gone.
Or that sneaky show that you've watched before, but you forgot how it all started so you go and find the Pilot episode and got sucked into watching the rest of the season. Ha!

Me Before You but that's not it

It's one of those romantic lovey dovey stories you gush about.

Two very different people with different circumstances fell in love. One of them is in a wheel chair, paralysed from the head down. Having the Finnick Odair guy from Hunger Games as the OKU guy is mainly for aesthetic values.

And half of the casts are familiar faces. Game of Thrones, Downton Abbey people, Harry Potter. I mean, is there only 100 actors/actresses in UK?

Although they didn't directly mention it, or brought it up as the main theme, but we need to talk about euthanasia.

That subject is like Theory of Knowledge Ethics 102. Is it right, or is it wrong? Should the person decides for himself or can anyone else in trust do it for him? Is it akin to suicide? Those are just the basic questions.

Taking the life of others or your own is wrong in many religious beliefs. But considering these scenarios, would you oppose of euthanasia?

1- enduring years and years of excruciating pain with no hope of getting better at all.

2- being in a comatose state for a long period of time that sustaining your vitals are not sustainable at all and is drilling a big hole in the bank accounts of your families, causing them to drown in deep deep debt.

One reason for euthanasia is to give a choice for the patients to end their suffering if they deem that they aren't able to endure it any more longer.

However it is really "our choice" to choose life or death? Life is a precious gift given by The Almighty and whatever the suffering that are inflicted upon us are meant as tests. On a "spiritual level" that is understandable, but what about those who aren't spiritual, is the suffering bring any meaning?

Would love to hear any thoughts.

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The magical night sky

Close to two months ago, I was on board a midnight flight to Melbourne. We were in the middle of the El Nino heatwave (i heard it was the hottest week yet on record, 38'C), there wasn't any clouds in the sky that made it a clear black night.

The person sitting next to me wasn't interested in light conversation or whatever & I had the window seat, so looked outside the window.

What I saw outside that night somehow had some emotional effect on me. I couldn't understand it back then, but I was moved to write this on my phone:


Day 1: on the plane
A while back ago i was standing outside of the house looking to the skies and noticing a couple of stars decking the night skies. I asked myself why can't i see the kind of skies that i always see in other pictures?
At 2 am about 75000feet from the ground, i looked out of the plane window and finally saw it. Well, a portion of it, anyway. But nevertheless, even in that limited scope of view (1x0.5 feet) it was truly mesmerizing to the extent that i am still fully awake because of i am so fully in awe of this creation. Everytime i look outside, it is breathtaking. It seems like i could see beyond galaxies, stars that had burn for millions of years. It feels like i am seeing beyond the present; a glimpse of the past & maybe the future.
The heavenly bodies, as they say it, is awesome (to put it in a very unsuitable word but I can't find a better one)

I now understand why Sheikh Hamza Yusuf said that people who do not believe in God should go out at night away from any artificial lighting and just look at the night skies. The spread of the stars in the skies is enough proof to state that it is just impossible to think that all of this doesn't have any Ultimate Creator.

I guess the best word so sum it all up (the word that I wasn't able to find to use back then) is "MasyaAllah"!


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Trials or Punishment (In relation to the great flood of 2014)

What is it about calamities that befall others which makes us think whether what those poor souls are going through are the consequences of their bad behaviours and bad decision making?

We are a creation of cause of consequence. Being given the ability to think (akal), we want to find reasons behind everything that happens around us even though the amount of knowledge that we have about the world around us is limited. We only know what we only know, might just be a nano-drop from a drop of water in the vast sea of knowledge.

When a natural disaster (which is always beyond out control) happens, it saddens me when I hear people say "oh, those people had it coming, they've been doing mungkar things all these while".

Hold on to your horses for a while and get down from that high riding horse. 

First off, let the judgment be done by The Almighty.

Secondly (this is my main point):

Sometimes we do not know whether the adversities or hardship that we are going through is a test or a punishment from Allah SWT?

It is an interesting point brought up during one of Q&A session in one of Yasmin Mogahed's podcast session/talk (can't remember which one, but anyways..) according to her explanations, the way to know which is which is by looking at the outcome of what you've become after all of it.

• A Punishment from Allah SWT:
  If the tribulations that happen to you takes you away from the rememberance of Allah SWT.
  
• A Test from Allah SWT:
  If the tribulations that happen to you brings you closer to Allah SWT. You will be rewarded for being patient.

Allah knows best.

I also found another interesting post here: http://islamqa.info/en/324

Punishments are what happen to people in return for their evil deeds. Trials are tests which are sent to try people, and people may be tested by good things or by bad.

Concerning punishments, Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Whatever of good reaches you, is from Allah, but whatever of evil befalls you, is from yourself…”

[al-Nisa 4:79]

Concerning trials, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “If Allah loves a people, He tries them, and whoever has patience will have patience, and whoever is anxious 

will be anxious.” (Reported by al-Imam Ahmad; Saheeh al-Jami’, 1706).

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) also said: “The extent of the reward will be in accordance with the extent of the trial. If Allah loves a people, He tries them, and whoever is content will have contentment, and whoever is angry will have anger.” (Reported by al-Tirmidhi, 2320; Saheeh al-Jami’, 2210).

November musings

I don't think there could be enough days off that would make me feel like i want to go to work tomorrow. a week a home is a blessing, even more so when I have used up all of this year's leave. Some people gets irritated being cooped up at home, but i quite like it. I am a homey (or homie), or maybe I'm just a create of comfort, in which 'comfort' means sitting in a semi dark area, watching daytime tv, or reading a book or doing 'research' on the internet about Unsolved Mysteries of The World (that time travelling guy in the B&W photo is really intriguing) or just unsubscribing to the various newsletters that has been taking over my inbox for quite sometime now.

I picked up a few new things over the course of this one week being at home.

1. I have just finished reading Charlotte Street by Danny Wallace.






This guy is probably one the authors that my brain subconsciously favorited, because I have three of his books; Yes Man, Friends Like These and this one. Although consciously I don't really fancy the way he writes (he sounds like me trying to write a novel), but the ideas of his stories are amazing.

Yes Man was an interesting idea to pick up, also what he did in Friends Like These and this one too. He is like a man of 'social experiments' where you do one thing that leads to another thing, which could be a bizarre thing or a superb thing depending on your luck or fate.

Anyways Charlotte Street was quite a challenge to read at times because sometimes Jason Priestley (not of the 90210 fame) is a drag when he yaps about his life. And his life wasn't a very sad one, or a very exciting one, it's just a bit of a ...drag. or a snag, whatever you like. He seems to be falling off a cliff, then hitting a rock on the way down, hooked on a dead tree branch and then falling some more. A loser.

But in the end, something nice happened. A sweet turn around. Which I think was the sort of ending that was much needed. Felt glad that I finally finished reading it. Perhaps it stirred something in me to go out and do something with my life, or make the best out of it. Or just find some interesting thing to do and called it an adventure.

2. A lot of research on the internet, just to fill up my time and curiosity. Well, most of it was to revisit some old blogs that I've bookmarked, read about the Illuminati (what else is new?), Hollywood mind control, what are we to do with them? Is Russia a part of it or are they not? How does North Korea fits into all this secret chaos?

Locally, there isn't anything interesting, but I found that there are Malay atheist blogs, a Muslim gay blog, Malay Christian confessions. Interesting to read their point of views. Now I know why people from Perkasa or ISMA are so worried about. I know it is scary and worrying, But you can't tell others what to believe in, can you? You just can't impose rules on what to belief, because at the end of the day, being religious is a matter of faith. You just can't force someone to be religious if they don't want to be.

I honestly feel that the way to address these issues are not through force or the 'Taliban' way, but through love, understanding and also psychology (do I sound like 2/5 of the Captain Planet team?).

3. In lieu (yes, did just use a lawyer-ish word) with trying not to fall into the Hollywood-Illuminati trap, I went on to find a few independent films on Youtube that I quite like. One of them was Arranged (2009 film). I saw it once before, this is actually the second time watching it again. Some Iranian films. Films about Palestinian-Israelis relationship and a Arab family living in Canada. Well, there's a lot of things to watch on Youtube.

Arranged was probably an endearing one, maybe because it's a friendship story between a Muslim and an Orthodox Jew in Brooklyn, where the story revolves around (guess what?) ... Arranged marriage. It was funny and cringe-worthy seeing all the suitors for these two people. Then I was on-board to doing research about Arranged marriage in Orthodox Jew culture, because in the movie it seems to be very... systematic. I also got a glimpse into the lives of the other 'selected group of people of heaven'.

The internet is really a big web (duh), one thing leads to another, I ended up learning a thing or two about Jewish tribes, the Holocaust, the Torah.. and then.... somehow came back to the Illuminati.

One thing I can say is, this thing is very complicated (the Israel-Palestine issue) and also this religious tension and political power tug of war.

4. Since it got too serious and intense, I decided to tune-out for a bit and sat down in front of the TV and watch this reality tv show that is being repeated over and over again on Lifetime, which is Married at First Sight. (what is it about all this arranged marriage thing?).

At first I though it was a silly gimmick, but then I was HOOKED. Like, seriously hooked and watched the whole season immediately. Bingeing at its best.

They call it 'social experiment', but in truth it was an arranged marriage set up by experts (PhD people really). One of the couple (out of three) was my favorite one. They didn't really hit it off at first, but as the show progresses, you can see how the relationship grows and it is really endearing (I love this word). There was another couple, which hit it off very well at first, but towards the end you could see that they went from 0 - 200 kmh, then lost control; crash and burn. And another couple, who were sweet on each other and they were the lovey-dovey ones, which I think had chemistry right from the start.

Of course, my favourite one was the second one (Jamie and Doug) because it was very endearing (this word!). She has emotional baggage (loads, big bags of emotional baggages) and he was the rock, the kind and patient person. Seeing how Jamie starts to warm up to Doug and how she grows to feel comfortable around him from one episode to the next was heart warming. It was like watching a romantic film as a reality tv show. Haha, I guess this is my guilty pleasures. Luckily the seasons ends and I get to go to work with a content heart.

So we have here various outcomes of arranged marriage. One that was right from the start, one that has potential to grow into something positive and one that seems to be a good match, but turns out to be a very bad mistake. Interesting show, isn't it?

5. And maybe one last conspiracy theory, which is a new one to me:
Stevie Wonder isn't blind (!!??)

Isn't that shocking? Why would a person fake being blind for his whole life?
I think he really is legally blind.

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Deep pointless thoughts

I probably am guilty of thinking too much.
Before anyone could bend their knees ready to jump, I have already seen them falling and breaking their bones.
But only on selected issues.
If only I could put it to good use, this 'thinking' matter, probably I could be a chess Grand Master or at least proceed to every next Candy Crush level with less than 3 trials. (good use? debatable.)

Making decisions are almost impossible (not entirely) with this extra brain activity and also it keeps me awake some nights.

Then again, I ask myself,

• what is the worst thing that could happen if you did that?
• what is at stake?
• will it condemn me to hell eternally?
• is this the work of Syaitan or not?

Yes, there is an answer for How to Seek Answers to your Questions, the thing is, I am afraid of the what the answer might be.