Are we in control or we are in control?

Have you ever felt that you're in control in your life and then one day when you think about it you start having second thoughts that perhaps everything really have been in set out for you.

I believe that everything in this grand universe, from the macro to the submicron level, we are all dictated by a massive set of quantum algorithm that tells everything how to process and proceed to the next step. Imagine a computer code that runs a program.

The movements of the celestial bodies across the skies, the sun, the moon, the planets, eclipses, they can be predicted, calculated with certain formulae. This is akin to programming, just to put it plainly.

Living beings, although may seem to be going on about randomly in their movements. From another perspective, the human nature, a set of behaviours that are associated to types of people, may not be random at all. Our own self have set of behaviours that seems to be affected by the balances of chemicals that flows throughout our system. How we are brought up, what we are thought to do given certain circumstances, these are all part of the process that they follow through.

This brings me to predestination or fate.
Choose Your Own Adventure books were one of my favourite books to read. In those books, you read and play as the main character and as you go through the pages, when you reach a certain point of the plot you're given a set of choices on how your character will proceed. The outcome of each choices are different and it will dictate how your character will reach the end of the story; either a fiery death or succeed in your quest.

That is, in a simple way, of explaining how I think fate works.

In life, we make hundreds of decisions daily. Our life progress is based on the choices that we make. The outcomes of each choices have been written. The free-will given that puts us in control in our life is the options to choose. Think about the possible number of permutations. Infinite!

If the choices are already given/pre-written, then what are we really? Following the steps in the very intricate algorithm right down to the dot. Are we allowed to make non-scripted decisions? What happens if we do?

My mind is simply blown thinking of the grand design, the universal law that governs all the things in this life and beyond. If the worldly world is a computer, then life is an algorithm. How great the architect is!

2016 Round Up

I’ve started drawing mind maps for new year resolutions for the past couple of years. I don’t know whether helped me achieve more goals or not, but it helps to serve as a checklist whenever I look at it once every few months or so just to see how I’m doing.

So, shall we see how I did?

Goal 1 (Self):

1. I didn’t manage to do 2 tafseers this year. Only did Yaseen during Ramadan. I hope it had quality. I was being brought up with Islam being a cultural thing, where we read the Yaseen when someone is on their death bed and when visiting graves. Before this, I associated Yaseen with sadness. However, learning about the this surah is eye opening. It reaffirms the faith of the dying (and the living), it tells us about how beautiful heaven is, so you don’t have to be sad when parting this world. This is only a small portion of an overview of the tafseer (from my understanding).
2. Easing away from social media in this day and age is very challenging. I think we are all addicts. Or maybe just lonely souls trying to find a kindred spirit in the virtual space. I do find it overwhelming sometimes when I get on Facebook and Twitter. Even more so when I read comments on public pages where people argue with each other over stupid things. I don’t know why I read them. I took it to my own self to take one week away from social media (Facebook, Twitter and Instagram) for every month. And on my birthday month, I decided to take a month off. It gives me a short time of peace and quiet, time to focus on things that I think I should be doing, like reading books, doing actual research and do some soul searching. I think i will continue this effort next year.
3. Hahaha.. mimpi lah kau 53 kg. Pfft… okay, but I did manage to go to the gym more this year and also made it almost compulsory to attend the Aerobics class every Wednesday. And at one time, became a regular at our neighbourhood hiking trail. So maybe I didn't shed down to 53kg, but I am living a healthy lifestyle. At least.
4. Speed Reading.. nope. I think I still read about 400 wpm. No improvements, but I could speed it up when I read articles online. I am using Spreeder.
5. Nope. No Macbook Air. Those things are soooo 2012…. I got a better one instead. Macbook with no Air :P and it is Rose Gold in colour. If only I had known how easy it is for a PC user to get used to a Mac, I would have done it earlier. love should be easy like this.
6. It’s challenging to be disciplined for this one. I will try again next year to spend 1 hour doing something that will better myself.

Goal 2 (Family):

1. Being kind and patient towards parents is a continuous work in progress. I sometimes catch myself being rude and hasty with them, which makes me feel very guilty and sad for myself. Tak senang nak jadi anak yang solehah.
2. Ini pun sama. I try to make it a point to help mum in the kitchen and with her stuff around the house. But sometimes I let her do it in the pretence of letting her do some exercise. Boleh ke?
3. Ok all the goals here are work in progress. Jangan berkira sangat dengan adik beradik.
4. Same as the above. Although sometimes tak boleh tahan dengan perangai, but blood is thicker than water.
5. I’m trying hard. Sarcasm is embedded in me. That's how I cope with annoyance. But let's try harder next year.

Goal 3 (Work):

1. There is a story behind this goal setting. It was about a year ago, I accidentally did something that I can’t reveal here and when I realised it, it’s too late to retract my actions, so I pray to God that no one took advantage of it and cause any massive damage.
2. Jangan malu bertanya dengan senior atau boss kalau tak tau. Biarlah kau rasa macam bimbo, asalkan kau tak syok sendiri buat benda yang salah.
3. Multi-tasking takes away your focus. I now write down the tasks on a sticky pad and continue doing multi tasking and once in a while glance back to that note to see if I missed anything. Tapi it's hard not to do any other things when you're running simulations that lasts for days. I read a lot of articles online on a variety of subjects, but I know I should be doing research on my engineering work.
4. I learn to help without hoping for anything in return. And sometime, go some extent further in helping other people with their job.
5. This is a lost cause.

Goal 4 (Social):

1. I try to do volunteer work whenever I think I can. Although I think I should do more. Help students with their school fees. Try to give to the masjid donation boxes whenever I stopped by any masjid to pray. Give to verified charity organisations and tahfiz schools.
2. “Be open hearted”, I know that is not a correct phrase. What I meant was -> buka lah hati lebih sedikit. And be kind hearted. Everyone is fighting some kind of battle, physically or spiritually. Kita tak tau sebab apa orang tu macam tu, everybody deserves a second chance. Dulu aku macam strict, one strike and out. I’m trying to be more lenient and more patient with people.
3. Get to know people better and with good intentions. This particular item stems about this one person whom (ok mengumpat pulak, tapi korang tak tau dia sapa) i just met last year. At first he seems like a nice and friendly person, until all hell leashes out. Rupanya dia ni parasit dan hanya berkawan utk keuntungan dia sahaja. So I decided not to be like that person.
4. Turn up and be present. This basically means, when invited to a gathering, i have to make my best effort to attend if possible and not give any lame excuses and when I am there, no playing with the phone. Be there in the present company and pay attention. So this year, I have made it to a few gatherings, but I’ve also skipped a few.

My #bestnine in 2016. Krabi made it to the top. Melbourne didn't. Pokemon also made the year. Gambar almari dlm masjid. Social unity and two selfies.

A photo posted by Dyanنa (@dyanna299) on Dec 8, 2016 at 3:00am PST

So that is 2016 summed up based on my January goals. Let’s move on to 2017.

Time for reflection

it is that time of the year again to reflect back on what has happened throughout the whole year of 2013 and take stock of the good things (and bad things) which we could take a lesson or two from.

the first half of 2013 was a roller coaster ride of all sort of drama. Mostly related to my post-grad studies. not going to elaborate much because most of it is already on the blog. Sedih, marah, blur, feeling like a lost lamb, gembira (?) semua ada. Kalau sesiapa yang rasa kurang drama dalam hidup mereka, sila lah daftar diri untuk buat potgrad degree. I am just glad that is done and over with.

I moved halfway across the country back to my parents house. But before that, while I was in KL; I also have to say I enjoyed my time living there. I am glad I didn't have to do the 9-5 shiz like most of the KL-ites and could afford to do odd hours (like 10-4pm or 12-3pm) to avoid the traffic. One of the little perks of being a full time research postgrad. I met up with friends, more times than I ever had compared to when I was working. Did some 'cultured' stuff that city folks do like go to theatre performances, dance shows, orchestra, visit museums, sat through dozens of tennis showdowns and drank high price coffee at pretentious places. Ha!

But most of all, I treasure the time I manage to spend on attending Islamic talks that involves one of the religious speaker that I highly respect.

I got a job. Doing something that I believe makes more sense than my postgrad research and I don't despise is as much as my postgrad environment.

Notice how everything is somehow related back to my postgrad life? I guess, although I hated it, I still owe all my life outcome to it. If I hadn't did it in the first place, I'd still rant about my job and perhaps jumping from one field to another field which I think has greener pastures (tak bersyukur?). Then I won't have the time to meet with friends (on a weekday at 3pm some more), I also wouldn't have time to do all those 'pretentious' stuff. I wouldn't put my thinking cap on overdrive and well, maybe I'd be a different person than what I am now.

Yes, I did learnt a lot. Not just about microelectronics (specifically analog filter design), but also about other stuff in life. I know myself better. I now know that the only one who can help me out of a conundrum is The One and Mighty Allah SWT. Did I told you about the time I almost gave up and wanted to throw in the towel? That did not happened. Just moved on, although heart wasn't in on it. Was telling myself all these negative things daily. But I just ignored it and moved on (not sure it it's the heart or the brain that's negative and which one just kept on typing and doing simulations).

Which reminded me of one of Mufti Menk's talk about digging a tunnel. If we gave up in the middle of doing something, we might lose everything all together. Who knows we're only inches away from our goal? Maybe we just need to hang in there for a bit more.

"Worship your Lord, until death overtakes you."
Hadis Nabi (maaf tak tahu dr mana, tapi kata2 Mufti Menk)

As a parting post for 2013, all I want to say are:

1. If your heart is not in it, leave it. But not before you give your best.

2. Do the things that you're good at and you enjoy doing (as long as it is halal).
Don't do it because people say it's suitable for a woman (gender stereotyping, which I despise so much, but that's another topic)

3. It is normal to be miserable, spend time to remedy the issue or at least lift the load and stress a bit.

4. When in Rome, do as the Romans do ;)

5. Finish what you started.

See you again in a few days time. till then, Happy New Year :)

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Intercession on the Day of Judgement

Yesterday, I learned about Intercession on the Day of Judgement. It is the event that happens when while we are being judged by Allah SWT on the Day of Judgement, before Allah SWT gives out His judgement, someone or something will intercede for us, somewhat like making a case for us against Jahannam (or maybe Jannah, na'uzubillah). Or making recommendations to help us go to Jannah (shafaat).

It is mentioned in Surah Ta'ha, ayat 109.

According to Sh Nasir Jangda:
There will be no intercession on the Day of Judgement, except for ONE case, having to meet ALL THREE criterias.

1) Whoever is interceding on behalf of someone must be allowed by Allah SWT  to speak.
2) Allah SWT is pleased or has approved what the interceder will say.
3) The person who is interceded (whom the judgement will fall upon) is approved by Allah SWT.

Basically to put in terms of my understanding;
We know that if someone have children who is a hafiz (who memorises the Quran), that child will be a savior for him on the Day of Judgement and he will be able to enter Jannah because of the Tahfiz.
But it doesn't mean that this is a guaranteed case. It doesn't mean that if you have a son who is a great tahfiz, but you keep on sinning and making destruction on earth, you will still go to Hell. Well that is Allah SWT decision to decide.

The condition of us getting anyone to intercede us is upon the condition of Allah SWT wanting to give us His Mercy (or not). If you have 10 sons who became a tahfiz, but you don't get Allah SWT's OK on the intercession, then they can't intercede for you.

Wallahu'alam.

In search for something that I don't know

Lately, I can't help but notice that I feel like I am in search of something, but I don't know what it is. There is a feeling of incompleteness that creates a feeling of restlessness at the back of my mind. There is something missing and it annoys me that I don't know what it is.

Maybe this feeling has been with me all along and eveybody has it. We are all searching for something, isn't it? And we all are not really sure what it is... (maybe it's just me). I'm only aware of it now because maybe I have too much spare time to think about nothing and everything. I realised that all this while I have been distracted from noticing it by studies, work, music, television, books, people and other activities. Sometimes this feeling of "emptiness" resurfaces briefly when I look into the creation of nature like the sea, the skies at night or at mountains, and felt overwhelmed for a moment by the greatness of it all and then it comes into my head : There must be more to this and why are we so bothered with many insignificant things in our lives?

So, how do I address this problem? I was thinking of a solution but I couldn't come to one. Maybe all I need to do is turn to back to God and ask for guidance to the straight path, to a solution. I know the response sounded so typical and lame, but maybe that is the right answer. If you are lost, you go and ask for directions. Who better to ask than God Himself? I am so glad I am not an atheist, because if I was, I would be stumped.

I feel slightly better after writing this down.

Reclaim Your Heart (Part 2)

The talk given by Sr Yasmin Mogahed last night revolves around the topic of :- Lessons that we could learn from the stories in The Quran.

Disclaimer: the following are my notes taken during last night's talk. If there are any mistakes or misinformation, do let me know so that it could be corrected. I do hope we could all benefit from it.

Many of the stories told in The Quran are about The Prophets. The main reasons why we are told these stories are not just for time-fillers or entertainment, but they are to inspire us, to guide us and there are lessons for us to learn from.

(I think I will start with typing the content of the talk first and followed by a summary).

1) Prophet Adam A.S.
Lessons we can learn from the creation of Adam A.S. and what goes down between him and Iblis is that the creation makes mistakes; Adam ate the forbidden fruit and Iblis didn't want to bow down to Adam A.S. when commanded to do so.

Both made mistakes, but what differentiates them was how they reacted. Adam A.S. repented and took responsibility for his mistakes. He asked for Allah SWT forgiveness in full humility. On the other hand, Iblis allowed arrogance to take over, refused to repent and instead vowed to take as many human beings as he could together with him into Hell.

2) Prophet Yunus A.S.
Nabi Yunus A.S. was trapped in the belly of a whale in the middle of the deep blue ocean. He was practically "trapped upon a trap". There is no one that could save him, not even himself. Even if he managed to get out of the whale's belly, he's still in the middle of the sea or underwater with no where to go. The only One who could save him is Allah SWT.

Nothing is more worthy of worship than You, Allah is high above anything else. And indeed I was among the wrong doers.

That is how Yunus A.S. responded to calamity, with humility. Fully believing that only Allah SWT that could take him out of that problem. Our external situation will not change if we don't change our internal self (situation). And in the end Yunus A.S. was saved, by Allah SWT.

3) Prophet Musa A.S.
Nabi Musa A.S. is individually trained by Allah SWT. He lived in a very difficult situation since childhood. Starting from the time when Firaun wanted to kill all baby boys in that time. When his mother puts her son (Musa A.S.) in a basket and let the river floats him, that is an act of Tawakkul to Allah SWT. She lets go of something that she loves the most for the sake of Allah SWT. She puts her trust in Allah SWT that He will take care of her baby son. And indeed Allah SWT has kept Musa A.S. safe and later brought back to her in a much better situation, as the adopted son of Firaun (thanks to A'siyah R.A) and was raised as a prince.

When Musa A.S. was at Mount Tsur, Allah SWT introduced Himself as the The Lord. Told him to make rememberance to Allah SWT through Solah. He also told Musa A.S. to throw his staff that he leans on to the ground and then it became a snake and when it was picked up again it return back into a staff. This is to show that we musn't fully rely on the means because it could become something that could hurt you (snake) at one time, and could be something that could help you in another time. We can use the tools and the means, but never truly depend on them.

During the great escape from Firaun's army, Musa A.S. and the Israelis were blocked by the Red sea and was trap between the sea and the impending army with no possible escape route. But Musa A.S. trusts is in Allah SWT. "By no means, my Lord is with me and will guide me through". He struck the staff to the water and by Allah's will, the Red Sea parted into two and created a safe path for the refugees to pass through. The staff is only the means, the True Provider is Allah SWT. He will give His servants a way out of a sticky situation in a way that is beyond our imagination.

4) Prophet Ibrahim A.S.
Nabi Ibrahim A.S. is also one that is individually trained by Allah SWT. He observed the movements of the sun, moon and the stars, noticed that even the most impressive things have imperfections and they can't be god. The creation is imperfect. Only The One True Creator is Most Perfect and has the power to control all the creations.

When Ibrahim A.S. was thrown into the fire by the disbelievers, the only help Ibrahim A.S. needed to keep him safe from the fire is only from Allah SWT. He doesn't fear the creation and he believes that Allah SWT will protect him from harm. Allah SWT cooled the fire and secured Ibrahim A.S. Within the hardship, there can be a place for security if our hearts is turned only to Allah SWT.

Then came a command from Allah SWT on sacrificing his beloved son, Ismail A.S., as we know that Ibrahim A.S. only got Ismail A.S. after many, many years of marriage and definitely his son is very precious to him. Despite of his love to Ismail, Ibrahim still followed the command of Allah SWT. Eventually, Ismail A.S.'s place has been replaced by an animal during the Qurban. This is a symbolic of slaughtering a potential competitor for his love to Allah SWT. When we are given gifts from The Giver, we sometimes forget and lose perspective of the The One that we should be focusing on. When He takes the gifts away from us, it gives us the chance to refocus ourselves to what is important. Our response when the gift is taken from us depends on what is in our hearts. In return, He will give us something much more priceless than that has been taken away.

5) Hajar R.A.
The story of Hajar R.A. is of dependence to Allah SWT is an act of the heart as well as the act of the body. She stayed back with her baby, Ismail A.S. in the desert of the hijaz. As they grow desperate for water, Hajar was running to and fro from Safa to Marwa looking for water. Usually, for a normal human being like me, I would just stop after one round of running between these two places if I failed to find anything. But Hajar, she kept on it for 7 times, never giving up effort to look for a water source. Finally, a source of water sprang out from their feet and it continues to supply water until today, which is the Zamzam water.

This is action, this is hope and this is sabr. The results of our actions doesn't come solely from our efforts. It comes from Allah SWT.

In Conclusion:

There are a chestful of treasures that we could learn from the stories mentioned in The Quran. Among them are:

Humility:
admit your shortcomings to the Creator. Do not be like Iblis who was arrogant. Adam A.S. and Yunus A.S. were humbled by the calamities that befall them. They acknowledged Allah is the Most Greatest.

Repentance:
do not despair in the mercy and forgiveness of Allah SWT. Adam A.S. was forgiven for his mistakes for consuming the prohibited fruit.
The imperfection of the creation: This is the design of the creation that are with flaws.

Tawakkul:
Fully trust in Allah SWT that He will provide and keep up secure. He will create an exit for you during hardship. But you must act with your faith intact. Do not lose hope, keep on striving and have sabr.

Giving up something you love for the sake of Allah SWT:
take lessons from Musa A.S. 's mother and Ibrahim A.S. act of Qurban. For everything that we give up for the sake of Allah SWT, He will definitely replace it for you with something much more better.

Never lean on the means:
The means are just tools to help you get closer to Allah SWT. If misused, they could be the thing that causes you pain or distracts you from the real focus. The more you need the creation, the more it lets you down and the more it runs away from you.

Love the Giver more than the gift, then you will be gifted.


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Reclaim Your Heart - Yasmin Mogahed in Malaysia (Part 1)

God works in the most mysterious ways (from our point of view using our limited knowledge. Of course He is The Most Knowing). A good friend of mine NinaIjan (or IjanNina; I always get confused on this cos they're interchangeable?) texted me one night, asking if I wanted to go to a Yasmin Mogahed's event an replace her seat since she wasn't able to go. So there I was, last night at Matrade Centre thanks to her generousity. May Allah SWT bless her with many rewards in this world and the hereafter.

The event was called Reclaim Your Heart, based on Sister (Sr.) Yasmin's latest book of the same title. Although the event was from 8-11pm, the talk by Sr. Yasmin only started at 930 until 11-ish. The first hour was filled with other interesting show/sessions: a Quran recitation of Surah An-Nur (35-38), a talk by the NGO director of Viva Palestina Malaysia (VPM) about Adopt A Hafeez Program, a short drama sketch by children about going to school in Gaza (which was distressing) and a lengthy video about VPM volunteers telling us about their experiences.

Part 2 will cover the content of her talk. I hope it will be beneficial for me and oher readers. Just watch this space, insyaAllah.

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Postgrad Will Make You Believe In God (Part II)

This second part took some time to be published, let's hope it is still within context.

Last time, I spoke about doing my MEng and had a weird and horrible time going through the darker stages of my life, when I was not near to God.

Now that I am much more older and hoping that I am much more wiser (yeah, 5 years fresh from the last experience), I decided to embark on the journey again, now doing my MEngSc. It was actually supposed to be PhD, but there was some technicalities and I fell on the short end of luck, I had to do my Masters first instead. I was filled with so much confidence that I believed I will be able to complete my Masters within or less than two years (which wasn't the case and I ended up extending by two more semesters, more about that later).

So this time, I wanted my postgrad experience to be different from the last time. I also prayed that I won't fall into depression again like last time in UK. I promised myself that I won't deliberately miss any of the 5 fard prayers and keep in check my actions. In addition to that, I was also almost entirely sure that the Mayan predicted the apocalypse will bound to happen in 22 Dec 2012. So, yeah... better be safe than sorry.

All in all there weren't any dramatic experiences to share about this except that in that course of two years, I did not realised that I was also on a journey of self-discovery. The thing that I discovered was I hated my postgrad life, I was dissapointed by the university system, did not get much support from my supervisor, felt like I was left hanging and most of all I realised I felt "lost" most of the time. Lost in academia. and also I was easily distracted by the internetz. It's very disorganised and I was overwhelmed. That is the reason why I had to extend my postgrad duration, because I needed to find the right path back to the goal.

Maybe it was the perfect timing of the revolution of conciousness that has started, but I noticed that there were many friends posting a lot of useful and mind opening Islamic content on fb. I've also found many useful websites that are working for the betterment of the ummah and some could even rival the main non-islamic websites that discusses productivity and thoughts. They were Productive Muslim and Muslim Matter. I've also discovered a few notable speakers that clicks with me, Nouman Ali Khan, Nasir Jangda and Yasmin Mogahed. So during some free time, when I was not distracted by the internet, I would listen to Podcasts from these speakers and also read articles from the websites and learn from them.

I've hit a brick wall many times. I have been going in circles for the first 3-4 months trying to figure out how the active indutor worked, tried the get help from my supervisor and the only brilliant thing that came from her was "do reverse engineering". So I did some solat hajat and made specific du'a asking to get me out of this Groundhog day. And indeed He did took me out from that vicious cycle, I forgot how but I could see how the gyrator theory works.

Realising that my progress will only depend on the will of God, I always asks Him for help whenever I come to a brick wall. However, I still feel miserable doing my thesis. I don't know why? I feel like quitting everyday. Is this what we are supposed to feel? my dad and Sheri both said it was normal. I think I can feel Atik agrees too.

However, despite the terribile feeling I had, the good thing is that I did not lose my mind and did not pushed away any human contact with anyone. Socially, I was a butterfly. So my mind and emotion in this section was spared from torment. But maybe I did tormented my friends with my continous laments about how my masters sucked.

I think I was less 'suicidal' working on this postgrad is because of the Grace of God, even despite all the hardship and mental challenge and lack of motivation, I was still able to gather relevant data and finish my thesis and still in one piece. I believe that all my prayers and supplications did gave positive results.

Eventhough I was broken, there was a higher power that picked me up and super glued me back together. Thank you Allah.




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Repurposing the Istikharah

I just want to share some thoughts I have about Solat Istikharah.

We are told to make this special prayer when we want to make decisions, especially when deciding to get married to a person, or not. We do the Istikharah prayer maybe 7 nights in a row before going to bed and hope to receive a 'sign' either in our dreams or some other ways that tells us which decision to make.

I think Istikharah has been under rated by me until now. These past couple of months, I've been listening to a few Islamic talks from a few scholars about this and I have came to a conclusion that this prayer has been overlooked by me. Let me explain; with what little knowledge and understanding I have.

1. It would be most beneficial if we understand what we are reading/reciting when we do the prayer and reading the supplements afterwards. For example, in the guidebook on how to perform Istikharah, they advice to recite Al-Fatihah followed by An-Kafiroon and Al-Ikhlas in each rakaat respectively.

The Al-Fatihah is a surah which is also a du'a from us, the slave, asking from the Lord of all creation, Master of the Judgement Day, who is the Most Merciful and Most Giving. The One we all must bow down to and ASK from, to GUIDE us onto the straight path and prevent us from going down the wrong path by giving the example of two kinds of people; the ones whom He gave blessings and the one whom He is angry with.

Even before we read the Istikharah du'a, we are already asking from Allah to guide us to the right path.

The Al-Kafiroon in a testament of our faith that Allah is the only God (monotheism) and we will not bow down to other man-created deities.

Al-Ikhlas is another testament of our faith that Allah is the ONLY God and He does not have a child and He is not begotten.

So one surah to declare against all other religions created by man and the other against the wahyu religion misled by man (Christianity), which strengthen our faith in Allah that He is the rightful Creator to ask from and not from other creations.

2. Then after finish praying the Istikharah, we are advised to say "Subhanakala 'ilma lana,illa ma 'allamtana innaka anta 'a limun hakim"
- which says Glory be to Allah, we do not have knowledge except what is given to us, and He is the most Knowing and Most Righteous.

This is to say, we human beings have very limited knowledge. We do not have any knowledge beyond anything of what we know. I mean, we do not know if something that we like might not be good for us in the future.. Only Allah SWT knows because His knowledge encompasses everything in and out and beyond everything.

So we ask from Him, the Knower of all things to guide us.

3. In the final part, the du'a, there is a part where we tell or ask Him to make easy for us the decision that we are going to make IF it is good for us in our deen, life and after life and then bless it.

However if the decision that we are about to make is bad, then we ask Him to take it away from us and make us ridha with His decisionnto take it away and then replace it with something better.

So I think that section in the du'a is a good one because in any case, we are setting ourselves in a win-win situation (in a good way, not in the greedy-opportunistic way).

Isn't Islam beautiful? We submit ourselves as His servants, making decisions wholly in His guidance, asking Him for His blessings and fully trusting Allah that whatever happens next is something that is good for us.

Back to re-purposing Istikharah, I think it should not only be done only when one decides to get married or other big things in life, like, buy a house. It's best to just do Istikharah for any decisions that we want to make because in all of it, we are asking Allah with His vast knowledge to guide us in making a good decision in this world and that will also affects the next.

Wallahu'alam. This is just my opinion using all the little intellect I have. Do guide me if I am wrong.


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Help each other with good news and taqwa (recap of Muslimah Conference)

Last weekend, I was given the time and opportunity to attend a Muslimah Conference (Saturday) and also listen to a talk given by sister Yasmin Mogahed (Sunday).

Listening to insightful talks and shared experiences and interacting with sisters was really an eye (and heart) opening event.

There's so many things that I've learned over the short period of time that I think it is ever possible for me to put it all out in one blog entry, but here are some notes that I managed to jot down.

1) There is a sense of false assumption that had been taken up by women that she can only be herself when she follows the definition and standard of being a woman that is being set by man, society, fashion and media.

What women should strive to be is not to achieve those standards set by man, society, fashion and media, but is measured on a much higher scale, which is piousness, taqwa.

2) Seek the perfection that could be found in God. Completion can't be found other than Him. Never ever think that you're "incomplete" or "deficient" until you reach marriage. No prince can complete you. No knight can save you. Only God can.

3) true liberation and empowerment lies in the freeing of oneself from the standards of man and society. Only focus on being a servwnt to the true Master, that is God.

4) Imaan in our hearts could be faded like clothes that we wear. Make du'a to Allah to make it constant. Seek ways to restart your imaan.

5) believe in Allah and trust in Him. Take lessons from what you see around you and apply that lessons into your personal life.

6) Kick Syaitan away from you. Know that he is very weak and don't give him way. Making rememberance to Allah, saying A'uzubillah and replacing bad habits with good ones are the ways to keep syaitan away.

7) A knowledgeable muslimah is a smart, beautiful, storng and capable of doing anything.

8) Sometimes we are too busy chains the dunya that we forget Allah. The Quran is there to guide us back.

9) Islamic feminism is unlike feminism in the west. It focuses on the nature of the way how women are created. Being feminine, having empathy and emotion are not signs of weakness, but instead it is our strength. Islamic feminism is not about being equal and the same as being like a man.

10) Know that there is no single way of being a good muslim woman, there are many ways of becoming one. There is much more to a woman than being a mother. In the Quran and sirah, we've heard about the Queen of Sheeba (Balqis), Asiyah (Pharoah's wife), Khadijah, A'isyah, Fatimah and many more who played much bigger role in the society and nation. They are our role models.

11) A gift, given by the one we love, must be held in the hand and not in the heart. When the gift is taken away, it will create pain in the hand, but it is not as hurtful as the pain if it was held in the heart because it is something we are not dependent upon. If we felt pain in the heart when the gift is taken away, then know that it's because we have attached that to our hearts and know that we have put it in the wrong place. What is held in the hand could be easily put down, do not put Allah there.

12) Be aware to not put aside God because of the gift. Do not ask to take away air because of the necklace, which will eventually choke us to death.

13) Suffering begins when we confuse the ends with the means. Allah is the ends, the gifts are the means.

14) If the fact that our worship tomAllah feels like a burden, then it is a sign that we have not seen and love Allah with our hearts. Because naturally, serving a loved one will feel like an honour rather than a burden.



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The truth about getting out of your comfort zone

Something to think about over the weekend and re-strategize for next week.






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Tsunami warning

Yesterday there were two (or 3) large earthquake that had occurred in the seas off Aceh. All measured at least 8.1 Richter scale. That was quite massive because the one that generated tsunami back in 2005 and 2001 Japan was all between 8-9 range.

Tsunami alert went off like crazy via social networking sites like Twitter and Facebook. I think maybe faster then CNN or Reuters. Fortunately after some hours of waiting and speculations, the warnings had been pulled off, apparently the movement of the earth's crust was in a different direction compared to the last two that generated tsunamis. Something about moving sideways instead of vertically.

The fear was there. Definitely was there. People panicking not knowing what to do. Bracing themselves for the worst.

I don't know what most people are scared of, the fact knowing that your death is probably near or the possibility of surviving a disaster.

As for me, death is imminent. Tsunami or not, everyone will die, regardless. I think I am more scared thinking about living the disaster than dying itself (even though I am not ready, who is?). The panic, the sheer terror seeing something bad of large magnitude, that feeling that you feel at the pit of your stomach when all blood is drawn out of your face, the water filling your lungs, that unimaginable horror seeing your loved ones being pulled away from your very grasp for the rest of eternity.

Living through it and trying to live past it; is what scares me the most. Not death itself (although it is also scary to think about death sometimes and realise you're not ready yet).

And with that said, I pray that Allah SWT protects my loved ones from bad things that is surrounding us.

This road leads to...?

Everybody is looking for 'something' in their life.

Looking for the:
- perfect job
- perfect house
- perfect other half
- perfect land
- happiness
- God's mercy and acceptance

How do you know that:
- the road you're on right now will lead to what you're searching for?
- you have found what you're looking for?

I am afraid life is a never-ending guessing game of 'What If-s'

Coretan an-Nisaa akhir zaman

I normally get restless when I read long wordy posts. Selalu skip some parts or just scan through without giving any thoughts. I blame my short attention span, also some suspects of minor dyslexia (perasaan sendiri sahaja) or maybe just plain spacing-out. With that said, I wonder why I'm pursuing a postgrad degree which requires me to read and write stuff, go figure.

Anyway, here's a lovely and syahdu post from a blogger friend of mine, MM about the strong women in Islam. I am glad I took the time to read and drink in the whole content although had to struggle focusing my attention.

For you who happen to be here, please spend some time reading it... I highly recommend you to do so. Very nicely written and the writer manages to touch my heart and made me think of myself where do I rank among these strong Muslimat. I am soooo not worthy.

Rasulullah swt bersabda :“Aku melihat ke dalam Syurga maka aku melihat kebanyakan penduduknya adalah fuqara (orang-orang fakir) dan aku melihat ke dalam neraka maka aku menyaksikan kebanyakan penduduknya adalah wanita.” (HR. Bukhari dan Muslim dari Ibnu Abbas dan Imran)

Ya Allah

Jadikan aku tabah seperti Ummu Khadijah

Sehingga dirinya digelar afifah solehah 

Dialah wanita pertama 

Tiada ragu mengucap syahadah 

Pengorbanan bersama Rasulullah 

Susah senang bersama 

Walau hilang harta kerana berdakwah 

Walau dipulau 3 tahun 3 bulan 

Imannya sedikit pun tak berubah 

Mampukah aku setabah dirinya?

aku Cuma An-Nisaa

Andai diuji sedikit sudah rebah.. 

Baru dihina sudah mengalah 

Ya Allah..tabahkan aku sepertinya.. 

Ya Allah.. 

Jadikan aku semulia Fatimah Az-Zahrah 

Betapa tinggi kasihnya pada ayahandanya 

Tidak pernah putus asa pada perjuangan dakwah baginda 

Anak yang semulia peribadi baginda 

Tangannya lah yang membersihkan luka 

Tangannya jua yang membersihkan cela 

Pada jasad Rasulullah tercinta 

Gagahnya dirinya pada dugaan 

Mampukah aku sekuat Fatimah? 

Saat diri terluka dendam pula menyapa 

Saat disakiti maki pula mengganti 

Ya Rabbi..teguhkan hatiku sepertinya.. 

Ya Allah.. 

Jadikan aku sehebat Masyitah dan Sumaiyah 

Tukang sisir yang beriman 

dan Keluarga Yasir yang bertakwa 

Sungguh kesabaran mereka menggoncang dunia 

Iman tetap terpelihara walau nyawa jadi taruhan 

Mampukah sabarku seperti mereka? 

Tatkala digoda nafsu dunia.. 

Entah mana hilangnya Iman di dada 

Ya Rahman.. 

Kuatkan Imanku seperti Masyitah 

Terjun penuh yakin bersama bayi ke kuali mendidih 

Kerana yakin Allah pasti disisi 

Sabarkan aku seperti sumaiyah 

Biar tombak menusuk jasad.. 

Iman sedikit pun takkan rapuh. 

Ya Allah.. 

Jadikan aku semulia Ummu Sulaim 

Perkahwinannya dengan Abu Talhah atas mahar Iman 

Islamlah Abu Talhah sehingga menjadi sahabat Rasulullah 

Betapa hebatnya tarbiyyah isteri pada suami 

Hinggakan segala panahan ke Rasulullah pada hari uhud 

Disambut dengan belakang jasad Abu Talhah 

Ya Allah.. 

Tarbiyyahkan aku pada cinta sepertinya 

Tingginya nilai cinta pada harga Iman 

Mampukah aku menatap cinta itu? 

Sedangkan rupa yang menjadi pilihan 

Ketulusan Iman diketepikan 

Ya Allah.. 

Ilhamkan aku pada cinta sepertinya.. 

Ya Allah... 

Jadikan aku sehebat Aisya Humaira 

Isteri termuda Rasulullah 

Biar dilempar fitnah 

Dia tetap teguh pada ketetapanNya 

Isteri sejati yang memangku Nabi 

Pada saat terakhir baginda

Hadis dan Sunnah Rasulullah dipertahankan 

Betapa hatimu seorang mujahidah 

Ya Allah.. 

Mampukah aku contohi dirinya? 

Pada fitnah yang melanda 

Diri mula goyah dan putus asa 

Teguhkan Imanku sepertinya..Ya Rahim.. 

Ya Allah.. 

Teringat diri pada Khansa 

Empat orang anaknya mati di Jalan ALLAH 

Dia meratap tangis.. 

Anak sulungnya syahid 

Anak keduanya turut syahid 

Anak ketiganya dan keempat jua mati syahid 

Namun tangisan itu bukan kerana pemergian anak tercinta 

Jawabnya kerana tiada lagi anak yang dihantar untuk berjihad

Wahai kaum Adam yang bergelar khalifah.. 

Diriku bukan setabah Ummu Khadijah 

Bukan jua semulia Fatimah Az-Zahrah 

Apa lagi sesabar Masyitah dan Sumaiyah 

Mahupun sehebat Ummu Sulaim 

Dan tidak seteguh Aisya Humaira 

Kerana diri cuma An-Nisaa akhir zaman 

Dimana Aurat semakin dibuka terdedah 

Dimana syahadah hanya pada nama 

Dimana Dunia yang terus dipuja 

Dimana nafsu fana menjadi santapan utama 

Dimana batas sentiasa dileraikan 

Dimana ukhwah sentiasa dipinggirkan 

Wahai Kaum Hawa 

Kita cuma An-Nisaa  

Para pendosa yang terbanyak di neraka 

Lantas walau tak setabah para Mujahidah 

Namun Tabahlah pada ketetapan Allah 

Kerana padanya ada Syurga! 

Walau tak semulia para wanita sirah 

Tapi muliakan diri dengan agama yang memelihara 

kerana padanya ada Pahala! 

Walau tak sesabar para wanita solehah 

Namun sabarkan jiwa pada nafsu dunia yang menyeksa 

Kerana padanya ada bahagia! 

Sesungguhnya Hawa tercipta dari Tulang rusuk kaum Adam 

Bukan untuk ditindas kerana lemah 

Tapi untuk dilindungi kerana Indah 

dan Indah apabila tertutup terpelihara 

Karena disitulah terjaganya Syahadah 

Bak mekarnya wanita dalam sirah 

Tuntunlah kami ke arah syurga.. 

Kualiti atau Kuantiti

Solat Fardhu hanya ada 5 sahaja. Rata-rata di masjid kalau solat berjemaah, kita ambil masa lebih kurang 15-20 minit untuk tunaikan. Dan kalau solat sendirian, mungkin 10-15 minit untuk selesaikan tanggungjawab. Ada juga yang solat 5-10 minit sahaja. Ikut kelajuan masing-masing.

Malam tadi terdengar rancangan muhasabah diri di kristal televisyen ('kristal' sebab LCD) yang berkata tentang kepentingan menyempurnakan solat. Ada satu bahagian yang disentuh penceramah mengenai bacaan Al- Fatihah yang, dengan lidah Melayu, biasanya silap disebut.

Poin-nya disini ialah, kalau salah sebutan bacaan, maka tak sempurna lah solat. Tak dapat 100% full score. Lebih teruk lagi, mungkin 0%. Macam mana pada Hari Pengadilan nanti, bila neraca timbang senget sebelah ke arah ...

Solat fardhu perlu dititik beratkan. Bermula dengan wudhuk. Ada beberapa perkara yang mungkin kita (sebenarnya, saya) terlepas :

1) elakkan buka paip besar2 macam air terjun. Membazir itu amalan syaitan. Go easy with the water tap.
2) air tak kena SELURUH anggota wudhuk. Bila basuh tangan sampai ke siku, pastikan BELAKANG siku juga kena air.
3) Gunakan tangan untuk sapu air ke celah2 jari kaki. Jangan geli pegang kaki sendiri. Tujuan wudhuk utk sucikan anggota badan itu.

... Yang diatas hanya antara beberapa perkara. Ada lagi yang lain, secara amnya pastikan air kena seluruh bahagian anggota yang wajib.

Berbalik kepada solat, pangkalnya syarat sah solat perlu dititik beratkan. Pay attention to the details. Niat, takbir, Al-Fatihah dan seterusnya... Sampai kepada tertib. Pergi belajar dengan guru mengenai cara-cara solat yang sempurna. Itu tanggungjawab kita sebagai hamba Allah. Perfecting our skills and performance. Macam KPI if you want to look at it that way.

Sayang sangat kalau kita solat 3-20 minit tunggang terbalik, tapi semua tak sempurna atau lebih teruk lagi. Iya, mungkin kita mengejar masa. Akan tetapi apalah sangat masa yang kita kejarkan berbanding dengan masa yang diluangkan untuk menyempurnakan solat untuk Allah. Long term investment, surely like me, you believe in the Day of Judgement.

Forever is a very, very, very.... Long time.

Solat membentuk akhlak. Benar, kalau insan yang bersolat itu memahami intipati solat. Faham di akal dan menghayati sepenuh hati apa yang dibaca. Percaya dengan apa yang dibaca.

Jadinya disini, saya merasakan kualiti ibadah saya perlu diperbaiki. Kuantiti juga penting. Tapi titik beratkan kualiti. Sebab menurut buah fikiran saya kalau memberi 1 biji buah durian yang elok lebih baik daripada memberi 10 biji buah durian yang tak elok. Akan tetapi, kalau kita beri 10 biji buah durian yang berkualiti, lagi baguskan?

Wallahu'alam.

Fell free to share your opinion / berkongsi pendapat.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

A moment of silence for Japan

It's one bad news after another. At the end of last week, the world got the news that Japan was stroked by a 8.9 magnitude earthquake and followed by a devastating tsunami that reportedly killed thousands of people and rendered many homeless.

In times of adversity like these that we see the true nature of man, more easily with the help of internet and social networking. There are sympathizers that offers prayers and help, and then there are the haters, yes, haters who said Japan had it coming for them because of WWII inflictions. Then tell me trolls, what happened to Germany? There are so many more, but I'd rather not focus on this right now. What ever you do, please don't put salt to injury, they are hurting enough already, please provide support.

Although I am thousands of miles away, news and videos on the internet travels fast. It's harrowing to see these images, of cars, lorries and houses being swept away by the tsunami current like it was made out of cardboards. I truly sympathize to those who has lost their family members and belongings in this natural disaster (the irony of disaster being anything but 'natural' is distasteful actually).

I was brought to remember the 2004 tsunami in Aceh. We still have not gotten over the emotional feeling that come to surface every time we think about it, and now this?

It is a very sad news and my prayers for all in Japan, may you all be in the safe guard of God and may He grant you all strength in facing this adversity. 

And I do hope they manage to contain the radioactive nuclear plant from meltdown. I really hate to see things go from bad to worse.

Perihal pokok yang tumbang

Orang kata, kalau tiada angin, masakan pokok bergoyang. Apa yang terjadi kalau ribut? Pokok yang tumbang. Itu yang berlaku beberapa hari lepas, ada ribut yang kuat dan banyak pokok tumbang.

Gambar sekadar hiasan. (credit goes to the original owner of the pic)

Pokok2 yang tumbang kebanyakkannya pokok yang dah besar, 10-20 tahun atau lebih tua lagi. Pokok2 tu banyak berjasa kepada manusia, tempat kita dan haiwan2 lain berteduh ketika panas terik dan hujan. Kereta pun kadang2 berteduh bawah pokok tu juga.

Tiba2 terlintas difikiran saya, ada beberapa perkara yang dapat diambil iktibar dari kejadian pokok yang tumbang:

• kalau pokok yang gah berdiri berdekad2 di tapak yang sama pun boleh rebah ke bumi dalam sekelip n mata. Apatah lagi kita manusia yang kerdil ini? Rezeki, keselesaan dan hayat yang kita banggakan selama ini boleh ditarik balik oleh-Nya dengan sekelip mata saja. Adakah kita bersedia? Dapatkah kita redha?
  
• pokok besar yang kita ingatkan selamat dan kuat untuk jadikan tempat berteduh dan bergantung selama ini, boleh rebah ke bumi dengan tiba-tiba. Kadang2 kita terlalu bergantung sangat kepada 'orang diatas' yang memberi perlindungan kepada kita (pemimpin, boss, ketua gengster, dsb), sedangkan kita lupa yang sebenarnya kita hanya perlu memohon perlindungan dan bergantung harap kepada Allah SWT kerana Dia juga boleh menjatuhkan 'orang2 diatas' tersebut. Contoh paling ketara - Presiden Mesir dan Tunisia yang tumbang akibat revolusi rakyat, pastinya kroni2 yang perpuluh2 tahun bergantung rezeki pada mereka sakit kepala sekarang ni.
  
• pokok yang besar dan gah berdiri, ada hari ini, esok tiada lagi. Kita sebagai manusia kenalah sentiasa rendah diri, jangan bangga2 dan rasa diri besar dan hebat dari orang lain. Mungkin hari ni kita hero/heroin, esok entah apa akan jadi?

Saja nak berkongsi buah fikiran mengenai perihal disebalik pokok yang tumbang. Have a good day!

Kisah masyarakat yang tak sedap didengar

Pada hujung minggu yang lepas, saya pergi ke rumah sepupu saya yang melangsungkan perkahwinan dengan pilihan hati. Majlis diadakan di rumahnya, jadi macam biasalah kat Msia ni jalan depan rumah akan penuh dengan sesak dengan khemah dan tetamu2 yang hadir. Jadi faham2 lah keadaan sekitar akan jadi sedikit kucar-kacir dan banyak kereta yg parking disepanjang dan berhampiran jalan tersebut.

Selepas selesai makan dan bertemu-muka (socialising by talking) saya bergerak pulang ke kereta. Dari jauh nampak sekumpulan orang berkerumun keliling sebuah kereta. Bila sampai kat situ, rupanya ada 'drama' yang sedang berlangsung.

Cerita dia macam ni (kisah benar ni):

Anak jiran sepupu saya parking kereta beliau didepan sebuah rumah yang sedang direnovate (yang tiada penghuni lagi) sebab ada khemah block jalan. Bila tuan rumah yg sedang renovate(dia baru beli rumah ni) ni datang dan nampak ada kereta parking depan rumah dia, dia bagitau DJ kenduri kahwin buat pengumuman over the PA supaya tuan kereta tu alih kereta dia. Agaknya si jiran tu lambat datang ataupun si renovate tu tak sabar menunggu dia pun terus calarkan bonet kereta tu, siap buat karangan.. "kan dah kata jangan parking, padan muka" (lebih kurang lah, saya pun lupa) dan pancitkan tayar (2 tayar!) dengan screwdriver dengan menikam tayar tu bertubi-tubi. Bila tuan kereta ni datang, bayangkan lah apa perasaan dia tambahan lagi kereta tu masih baru lagi (kalau ikut plat kereta tu macam beli 3-6 bulan lepas). Kalau saya, nangis dah kot kat situ.

Jadi si mangsa ni pergi lah ke rumah si renovate ni dengan hajat nak berbincang (secara baik) mcm mana nak settle benda ni kan. Tapi si renovate ni pergi marah pulak si mangsa dan mak mangsa sekali dimarahnya pasal parking depan rumah dia. Bila anggota RELA datang utk break the heat, dengan si RELA ni pun dihamburnya. Jadi akhirnya perbincangan tu tak ke mana. Saya cadangkan dekat makcik tu pergi ke balai polis utk buat report polis ke atas si renovate tu sebab dia merosakkan harta benda orang lain. Harap2 polis ambil tindakan lah.

Sigh.. benda2 macam ni lah yang buat saya mengeluh panjang... sila faham, ada kenduri, memang org parking merata2. harap bersabar.

Saya tak sangka ada orang seangkuh si renovate tu. Selalu jumpa orang bongkak dan kurang ajar macam ni dalam drama tv je, rupanya ada hidup2 orang macam ni. Tau la kau baru beli rumah, rasa best la kot pasal ada duit banyak, tapi Please! Tolong hormat orang tua. Dah le baru nak duduk kat kawasan tu, dah buat samseng dan eksyen. Macam orang luar berkelana, masuk sebuah kampung, bina rumah utk tinggal dan pergi bakar rumah jiran dia.

Saya tak dapat nak bayangkan macam mana nanti mereka hidup berjiran nanti bila si renovate masuk rumah baru tu. Depa duk dekat2 je, satu lorong. Mesti bengang je. Orang2 macam si renovate ni patut duduk dalam hutan jauh dari orang lain. Mungkin hutan pun dibakarnya. Ya Allah, Engkau jauhkanlah aku daripada orang2 yang hati jahat macam ni.

OK, memang la saya pun akan bengang kalau ada orang parking depan kereta saya menghalang jalan saya, tapi tak tergamak nak buat macam ni. Dan orang yang parking merata pun (especially double parking), tolonglah considerate sikit dan letak la no phone utk contact atau jangan tarik handbrake. Bila saya google pasal benda ni [pancit tayar + calar kereta] rupanya benda macam ni "normal" di kota besar.  Berjaga2 lah korang parking kereta, kalau silap parking, bersiap sedia lah utk panggil tow truck. 

Saya SANGAT SEDIH ramai orang macam ni.... rasa hormat terhadap orang lain dah hilang. Yang tahu hanya kepentingan diri sendiri. Dah takdak agama kot? Kalau ikut kan mana2 agama pun mengajar utk hormat orang dan jangan buat jahat dekat orang lain. Pendek je fius kesabaran, cepat je nak meletup marah.

Dekat2 nak Malidur Rasul ni saya rasa sayu pulak. Kalau lah setiap insan ni ada at least sedikit sifat Rasulullah SAW dlm jiwa diorang, mesti rasa bahagia dan aman je tinggal kat dunia sekarang. Tau tak Rasulullah SAW tolong makcik tua angkat kayu balik ke rumah dan sepanjang perjalanan tu makcik tu dok mengutuk Rasulullah SAW? Baginda tak kata apa2 pun, dia senyum ja.

Mungkin ada baiknya, kalau kita ditimpa ujian, kita berfikir sejenak, apa yang Rasulullah SAW akan buat? Jangan lupa selawat banyak2 dan mengucap syahadah.

Kids nowadays...

I was listening to the morning radio show and the DJs brought up the topic of 'Kids nowadays are taking things for granted'.

So I stopped to think and I do agree. For example:

• when I was a kid, I looked forward every fortnight for our family outing to Komtar just to eat at McD or KFC. Sometimes it's just once a month. Nowadays, some kids are eating McD on a daily basis. (Fact: 1 in 4 children in Malaysia is obese!)
  
• my brother and I scrimp and saved our allowances, did a lot of extra chores and aced our exams to get some money so that we could buy our own toys. I remember we washed my dad's van every weekend and got paid RM5 per wash and ate peanut butter sandwiches packed from home for many many days just buy the Atari game console. Now their parents throws in a Playstation 3 on their birthday and hands them a Nintendo DS, just in case they got bored. No strings attached.
  
• cartoons only aired at certain times of the day. Saturday mornings and 530pm on weekdays. For the spare times, you just have to find something else to do to fill up your day. Nowadays, kids could tune in the cartoon networks to themselves and watch tv until they throw up.

So I wonder what they look forward to now? How kids nowadays values things? Are these 'things' ruining them?

But then again do you remember when we were young we heard our parents telling to us that "You kids had it easy nowadays, when I was your age, I had to _____ (fill in the blanks)" .

(*had to walk 2 miles to school wearing worn out shoes)
(*nasi lemak costs only 5 cent and sirap 1 cent)
(*it took us 15 minutes just to set up a fire to cook food)

So I guess things have a way of going around, right?

tentang revolusi rakyat

Sepanjang cuti panjang tahun Baru Cina, selain daripada keluar menziarahi shopping2 mall, saya dan keluarga meninjau perkembangan di Mesir melalui internet streaming website-website berita seperti Al-Jazeera, CNN, dan banyak lagi, sampai nak habis fair usage threshold internet P1Wimax (mind you, ni baru 6hb February. Ada lagi 22 hari utk renew threshold baru. huhu.. tapi apa boleh buat?).

Amazing how the fall of one country leader (Tunisia) could trigger domino effect across the middle east region.

Apa yang berlaku kat Tunisia pun bermula dengan satu 'trigger' yang agak unik, seorang pemuda mati akibat kecederaan kerana beliau membakar diri sendiri (self immolation) sebagai tanda protes terhadap pemimpin. Sebenarnya itu bukan 'self-immolation' yang pertama kali berlaku di Tunisia. Ramai yang telah membakar diri sebagai tanda protes, tapi yang ni satu ni yg mencetuskan huru-hara dan protes di seluruh negara sampaikan Ben Ali terpaksa lari keluar dari negara sendiri. Persoalannya, bagaimana ianya menjadi 'viral' dan semangat itu tersebar sampai ke Mesir, Yaman dan beberapa negara Arab yang lain?

Pada pendapat saya, pemuda tersebut mesti memiliki pengaruh yang tersendiri di kawasan tersebut. Dan terkena pula pada masa, protes ibunya dikongsi di internet dan saluran berita. Dan tindakan pemimpin yang cuak menghentikan internet dan lambat bertindak membakar lagi kemarahan rakyat. All boils in one pot. Bila api tak ditutup, membuak2 lah kuah yang panas di dalam periuk. Panasnya periuk tersebut dapat dirasakan oleh kuali yang terletak bersebelahan periuk. (Refer Tipping Point - Malcolm Gladwell).

The things that you are capable of doing when you are not afraid anymore.

Saya tak tau. Tapi saya kagum dengan rakyat2 Tunisia dan Mesir yang bangkit menentang pemimpin2 yang tidak berlaku adil. Walaupun setelah 20-30 tahun bersabar dengan kerenah pemimpin tersebut. Mereka keluar dari rumah2 mereka untuk berkumpul di dataran, tak takut kemungkinan yang mereka akan dibalun oleh polis. Marah. Mana tak mereka tak marah? Corruption, kekayaan negara tak dikongsi sama rata, rakyat miskin dan tiada pekerjaan.

When you have nothing, you are willing to risk it all to fight for something.

Kemudian saya terfikir tentang negara saya. Tak mungkin boleh berlaku sebegini teruk kot. Sebabnya kita (saya terutamanya) mempunyai banyak kepentingan. Mungkin tak sanggup untuk mencagarkan semuanya untuk itu. Duit di bank, kereta, rumah dan barang2 di dalamnya, mesti takut hilang semua kalau berlaku huru-hara. Keluarga, saudara-mara dan kawan-kawan semuanya sihat dan segar bugar, tak sanggup kita tinggalkan mereka begitu sahaja. Itulah, 'attachments'. Baru saya tahu kenapa pada zaman Rasulullah SAW dahulu, para sahabat sanggup untuk derma/ tinggalkan harta dan keluarga untuk memperjuangkan Islam. Kerana dengan meninggalkan 'attachments' kita hanya ada diri kita sendiri dan dapat berikan 100% fokus utk mencapai matlamat utama tanpa perlu risaukan apa2 dan sesiapa dibelakang.

Semoga revolusi rakyat di Tunisia, Mesir dan negara2 yang terlibat mencapai matlamat dan objektif utama mereka. Dan diharapkan agar pemimpin2 zalim yang senang duduk di atas kerusi empuk mereka berasa panas punggung dan cepat2 insaf.