Write Well

I have decided what my side-project shall be this time.
Writing well.

I was quite excited and proud of my latest achievement (Labview programming; read: About learning new skills), and went on to Google about other new skills that I could learn and landed on Buzzfeed.

A few days ago, I just got around watching Julie Julia, that movie about two true stories about two cooks from different eras, that one with Meryl Streep in it. I was inspired by Julie (Amy Adams' character) who started a blog about her quest of trying to cook all of Julia Child's recipes in one year.

I won't be cooking anything from any recipe books and post it on the internet per se. We have a lot of that already. What I will do is to combine what I have found on Buzzfeed and what Julie did to chart her progress.

The idea of returning back to my blog and improve my writing skills seems like a good idea for now. Oh, I should also mention that I get bored of reading junks that other people post on facebook, especially the ones that are politically and racially fueled. Might as well put my time into good use and write interesting stuff and post my own junk into the internet to add more to the heap of junk out there :p

If in any way anyone is interested, here is the link to Write Well.

I don't think I will update my progress, but what I can do is implement what I have learnt into my posts and maybe I'll revisit old posts and compare (subjectively and probably with a lot of bias) how well I have done.

We'll see what happens next if i ever get to my next post. Hahaha.

D

2014's Resolutions

I thought I'd put this up before January is over.




- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Time for reflection

it is that time of the year again to reflect back on what has happened throughout the whole year of 2013 and take stock of the good things (and bad things) which we could take a lesson or two from.

the first half of 2013 was a roller coaster ride of all sort of drama. Mostly related to my post-grad studies. not going to elaborate much because most of it is already on the blog. Sedih, marah, blur, feeling like a lost lamb, gembira (?) semua ada. Kalau sesiapa yang rasa kurang drama dalam hidup mereka, sila lah daftar diri untuk buat potgrad degree. I am just glad that is done and over with.

I moved halfway across the country back to my parents house. But before that, while I was in KL; I also have to say I enjoyed my time living there. I am glad I didn't have to do the 9-5 shiz like most of the KL-ites and could afford to do odd hours (like 10-4pm or 12-3pm) to avoid the traffic. One of the little perks of being a full time research postgrad. I met up with friends, more times than I ever had compared to when I was working. Did some 'cultured' stuff that city folks do like go to theatre performances, dance shows, orchestra, visit museums, sat through dozens of tennis showdowns and drank high price coffee at pretentious places. Ha!

But most of all, I treasure the time I manage to spend on attending Islamic talks that involves one of the religious speaker that I highly respect.

I got a job. Doing something that I believe makes more sense than my postgrad research and I don't despise is as much as my postgrad environment.

Notice how everything is somehow related back to my postgrad life? I guess, although I hated it, I still owe all my life outcome to it. If I hadn't did it in the first place, I'd still rant about my job and perhaps jumping from one field to another field which I think has greener pastures (tak bersyukur?). Then I won't have the time to meet with friends (on a weekday at 3pm some more), I also wouldn't have time to do all those 'pretentious' stuff. I wouldn't put my thinking cap on overdrive and well, maybe I'd be a different person than what I am now.

Yes, I did learnt a lot. Not just about microelectronics (specifically analog filter design), but also about other stuff in life. I know myself better. I now know that the only one who can help me out of a conundrum is The One and Mighty Allah SWT. Did I told you about the time I almost gave up and wanted to throw in the towel? That did not happened. Just moved on, although heart wasn't in on it. Was telling myself all these negative things daily. But I just ignored it and moved on (not sure it it's the heart or the brain that's negative and which one just kept on typing and doing simulations).

Which reminded me of one of Mufti Menk's talk about digging a tunnel. If we gave up in the middle of doing something, we might lose everything all together. Who knows we're only inches away from our goal? Maybe we just need to hang in there for a bit more.

"Worship your Lord, until death overtakes you."
Hadis Nabi (maaf tak tahu dr mana, tapi kata2 Mufti Menk)

As a parting post for 2013, all I want to say are:

1. If your heart is not in it, leave it. But not before you give your best.

2. Do the things that you're good at and you enjoy doing (as long as it is halal).
Don't do it because people say it's suitable for a woman (gender stereotyping, which I despise so much, but that's another topic)

3. It is normal to be miserable, spend time to remedy the issue or at least lift the load and stress a bit.

4. When in Rome, do as the Romans do ;)

5. Finish what you started.

See you again in a few days time. till then, Happy New Year :)

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Reclaim Your Heart (Part 2)

The talk given by Sr Yasmin Mogahed last night revolves around the topic of :- Lessons that we could learn from the stories in The Quran.

Disclaimer: the following are my notes taken during last night's talk. If there are any mistakes or misinformation, do let me know so that it could be corrected. I do hope we could all benefit from it.

Many of the stories told in The Quran are about The Prophets. The main reasons why we are told these stories are not just for time-fillers or entertainment, but they are to inspire us, to guide us and there are lessons for us to learn from.

(I think I will start with typing the content of the talk first and followed by a summary).

1) Prophet Adam A.S.
Lessons we can learn from the creation of Adam A.S. and what goes down between him and Iblis is that the creation makes mistakes; Adam ate the forbidden fruit and Iblis didn't want to bow down to Adam A.S. when commanded to do so.

Both made mistakes, but what differentiates them was how they reacted. Adam A.S. repented and took responsibility for his mistakes. He asked for Allah SWT forgiveness in full humility. On the other hand, Iblis allowed arrogance to take over, refused to repent and instead vowed to take as many human beings as he could together with him into Hell.

2) Prophet Yunus A.S.
Nabi Yunus A.S. was trapped in the belly of a whale in the middle of the deep blue ocean. He was practically "trapped upon a trap". There is no one that could save him, not even himself. Even if he managed to get out of the whale's belly, he's still in the middle of the sea or underwater with no where to go. The only One who could save him is Allah SWT.

Nothing is more worthy of worship than You, Allah is high above anything else. And indeed I was among the wrong doers.

That is how Yunus A.S. responded to calamity, with humility. Fully believing that only Allah SWT that could take him out of that problem. Our external situation will not change if we don't change our internal self (situation). And in the end Yunus A.S. was saved, by Allah SWT.

3) Prophet Musa A.S.
Nabi Musa A.S. is individually trained by Allah SWT. He lived in a very difficult situation since childhood. Starting from the time when Firaun wanted to kill all baby boys in that time. When his mother puts her son (Musa A.S.) in a basket and let the river floats him, that is an act of Tawakkul to Allah SWT. She lets go of something that she loves the most for the sake of Allah SWT. She puts her trust in Allah SWT that He will take care of her baby son. And indeed Allah SWT has kept Musa A.S. safe and later brought back to her in a much better situation, as the adopted son of Firaun (thanks to A'siyah R.A) and was raised as a prince.

When Musa A.S. was at Mount Tsur, Allah SWT introduced Himself as the The Lord. Told him to make rememberance to Allah SWT through Solah. He also told Musa A.S. to throw his staff that he leans on to the ground and then it became a snake and when it was picked up again it return back into a staff. This is to show that we musn't fully rely on the means because it could become something that could hurt you (snake) at one time, and could be something that could help you in another time. We can use the tools and the means, but never truly depend on them.

During the great escape from Firaun's army, Musa A.S. and the Israelis were blocked by the Red sea and was trap between the sea and the impending army with no possible escape route. But Musa A.S. trusts is in Allah SWT. "By no means, my Lord is with me and will guide me through". He struck the staff to the water and by Allah's will, the Red Sea parted into two and created a safe path for the refugees to pass through. The staff is only the means, the True Provider is Allah SWT. He will give His servants a way out of a sticky situation in a way that is beyond our imagination.

4) Prophet Ibrahim A.S.
Nabi Ibrahim A.S. is also one that is individually trained by Allah SWT. He observed the movements of the sun, moon and the stars, noticed that even the most impressive things have imperfections and they can't be god. The creation is imperfect. Only The One True Creator is Most Perfect and has the power to control all the creations.

When Ibrahim A.S. was thrown into the fire by the disbelievers, the only help Ibrahim A.S. needed to keep him safe from the fire is only from Allah SWT. He doesn't fear the creation and he believes that Allah SWT will protect him from harm. Allah SWT cooled the fire and secured Ibrahim A.S. Within the hardship, there can be a place for security if our hearts is turned only to Allah SWT.

Then came a command from Allah SWT on sacrificing his beloved son, Ismail A.S., as we know that Ibrahim A.S. only got Ismail A.S. after many, many years of marriage and definitely his son is very precious to him. Despite of his love to Ismail, Ibrahim still followed the command of Allah SWT. Eventually, Ismail A.S.'s place has been replaced by an animal during the Qurban. This is a symbolic of slaughtering a potential competitor for his love to Allah SWT. When we are given gifts from The Giver, we sometimes forget and lose perspective of the The One that we should be focusing on. When He takes the gifts away from us, it gives us the chance to refocus ourselves to what is important. Our response when the gift is taken from us depends on what is in our hearts. In return, He will give us something much more priceless than that has been taken away.

5) Hajar R.A.
The story of Hajar R.A. is of dependence to Allah SWT is an act of the heart as well as the act of the body. She stayed back with her baby, Ismail A.S. in the desert of the hijaz. As they grow desperate for water, Hajar was running to and fro from Safa to Marwa looking for water. Usually, for a normal human being like me, I would just stop after one round of running between these two places if I failed to find anything. But Hajar, she kept on it for 7 times, never giving up effort to look for a water source. Finally, a source of water sprang out from their feet and it continues to supply water until today, which is the Zamzam water.

This is action, this is hope and this is sabr. The results of our actions doesn't come solely from our efforts. It comes from Allah SWT.

In Conclusion:

There are a chestful of treasures that we could learn from the stories mentioned in The Quran. Among them are:

Humility:
admit your shortcomings to the Creator. Do not be like Iblis who was arrogant. Adam A.S. and Yunus A.S. were humbled by the calamities that befall them. They acknowledged Allah is the Most Greatest.

Repentance:
do not despair in the mercy and forgiveness of Allah SWT. Adam A.S. was forgiven for his mistakes for consuming the prohibited fruit.
The imperfection of the creation: This is the design of the creation that are with flaws.

Tawakkul:
Fully trust in Allah SWT that He will provide and keep up secure. He will create an exit for you during hardship. But you must act with your faith intact. Do not lose hope, keep on striving and have sabr.

Giving up something you love for the sake of Allah SWT:
take lessons from Musa A.S. 's mother and Ibrahim A.S. act of Qurban. For everything that we give up for the sake of Allah SWT, He will definitely replace it for you with something much more better.

Never lean on the means:
The means are just tools to help you get closer to Allah SWT. If misused, they could be the thing that causes you pain or distracts you from the real focus. The more you need the creation, the more it lets you down and the more it runs away from you.

Love the Giver more than the gift, then you will be gifted.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Reclaim Your Heart - Yasmin Mogahed in Malaysia (Part 1)

God works in the most mysterious ways (from our point of view using our limited knowledge. Of course He is The Most Knowing). A good friend of mine NinaIjan (or IjanNina; I always get confused on this cos they're interchangeable?) texted me one night, asking if I wanted to go to a Yasmin Mogahed's event an replace her seat since she wasn't able to go. So there I was, last night at Matrade Centre thanks to her generousity. May Allah SWT bless her with many rewards in this world and the hereafter.

The event was called Reclaim Your Heart, based on Sister (Sr.) Yasmin's latest book of the same title. Although the event was from 8-11pm, the talk by Sr. Yasmin only started at 930 until 11-ish. The first hour was filled with other interesting show/sessions: a Quran recitation of Surah An-Nur (35-38), a talk by the NGO director of Viva Palestina Malaysia (VPM) about Adopt A Hafeez Program, a short drama sketch by children about going to school in Gaza (which was distressing) and a lengthy video about VPM volunteers telling us about their experiences.

Part 2 will cover the content of her talk. I hope it will be beneficial for me and oher readers. Just watch this space, insyaAllah.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

2013 Resolutions

Welcome to the New Year 2013.
Every year we lament time passes quickly. The same for 2012. But that doesn't stop us from improving ourselves.

Here are the things that I hope to happen in 2013 (things that are beyond my control):
- I'll get a job soon. I really need to pay my debts (USM, cars and money borrowed from Mama)
- get to go to Umrah
- get the chance to travel to new places like Germany or Australia
- Graduation! M. Eng. Sc.

Here are the things that I want to do ( things that i can control):
- when I get a job and steady income, I want to control my investment. Short term ones and make at least 20% profit by the end of 2013
- make new friends
- try not to shake hands with non-mahrams (men)
- dress more modestly (socks and shoes), no three quarters without covering.
- learn something new OR improve my mandarin.
- be more patient while driving (no rage).


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

2012 in review

The last few days of 2012 are the days I usually reflect back on the year that will pass and plan for a new year ahead. Let's take stock on what has (or has not) happened in 2012:

The "Has":

1. The first thing that I am glad of is that I have finally finished and submitted my thesis. It's been a very big dragging thing throughout the year.
2. Committed myself to the gym for three months. Then off again for many months and then on again for a few weeks. This thing is not easy to become a habit, but I do try.
3. Had a good year spent with the family. Although I did not go for any exotic holiday overseas, I am content that I've spent my holidays at home.
4. Went to see a lot of movies.
5. Had nice gathering with friends. I am glad of this because I don't do this a lot when I was in Penang.
6. Learnt a lot about Islam, being a Muslim and spiritual beliefs. I hope I will be able to retain the knowledge and act upon it.

The "Has Not":

1. I am glad I do not have to go run to the hills and live in the jungle. Was a bit nervous about 21/12/2012 and almost thought that I will have to be like Katniss Everdeen. No I did not kept rations of food in the cupboard that could last me for 3 months because I do not have money.
2. I am also glad that I did not went into depression due to the thesis writing, although I think I also went mad while writing. This is not a joke because I seriously think writing a thesis could bring yourself to the brink of an emotional breakdown like what happened the last time in 2004. Maybe living alone helped me in this.Maybe no PhD for me.
3. My bad knee has not improved. I'm starting to notice the pain on a daily basis and sometimes it's hard to sleep at night with the nagging pain.
4. Not met life-long travel buddy yet.
5. Has not got a job yet. Although has started looking.

Fall and rise again, then fall.

Today is the 1st Muharram 1434(?). New Islamic year.
I personally feel that this this year has come and gone too fast.
And I honestly feel like I have not done enough this year.

There is a new "old" battle I'm struggling to fight this year. Sometimes I win and sometimes I don't. And when I lose, I feel like such a failure and all my previous efforts have been thrown down the drain. But knowing that Allah is The Most Merciful, I pick myself up and start again. Many times I have faltered. Sometimes I feel like I'm not putting enough effort to put up a fight. Sometimes I have doubts that He will forgive me for I have failed so many times, like I am not serious enough.

From what I learn and heard, He loves His servants more when they fall and they get back up again and asks for His help, guidance and forgiveness.

Wallahualam.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Astronaut Public Lecture

Last month on the end of October I had the chance to attend a Public Lecture given by two astronauts, Dr Daniel T. Barry, US NASA Astronaut and Dr Sheikh Muzaphar Shukor (Dr SMS), our own very own Angkasawan.

Well, most of us know Dr SMS story, so I'll skip that and bring you Dr Dan Barry's story, which I personally think is an inspiring one.

Dr Dan Barry wanted to be an astronaut since he was a young boy. Back at that time, everyone wanted to be an astronaut, it was the 'thing' to be because man just landed on the moon some time back and that was a really big thing at the time. As he grew up, he still holds to his ambition to become an astronaut, but people kept telling him he was not smart enough, not athletic enough, does not dress smart enough, or not good looking enough to be an astronaut. So he stopped telling everyone about his dreams and ambition because of these remarks.

He started sending his application to NASA for the astronaut post when he was 23 years old. After NASA rejects his application, he would send another the next year, and the following years... and NASA kept sending him rejection letters back. While waiting for the 'good news' he did what he thought would help him with the application. He did a degree in electrical engineering, then pursued a PhD in the subject, then went on to study for a medical degree and became a professor at a university. So, this guy had two "Dr" titles, one from his PhD and the other as a medical Doctor. Awesome right? But that didn't impressed NASA because they still did not accept his applications.

He finally got a break and got 'the call' from NASA after 15 years of waiting. And boy, was he really happy. Listen to his story from the link below that I recorded at the lecture. No one tells the story better than him himself.

Dr Barry's profile on Wikipedia [link].

I think the 'take away' from Dr Barry's story is this:

• Never give up on your dreams, even if it takes 10 or 20 years of waiting.
• While in the subject of 'waiting', don't just sit there and do nothing while waiting for things to happen. Do something useful. Like get a PhD or do a second degree in Medicine or something. (lulz, ha!)
• People will tell you that you can't do this and that. Don't take advice from people who don't believe in you and your dreams.
• Do the things that you love to do.

Additional item:

Lecture and motivational speech from Dr SMS.

Help each other with good news and taqwa (recap of Muslimah Conference)

Last weekend, I was given the time and opportunity to attend a Muslimah Conference (Saturday) and also listen to a talk given by sister Yasmin Mogahed (Sunday).

Listening to insightful talks and shared experiences and interacting with sisters was really an eye (and heart) opening event.

There's so many things that I've learned over the short period of time that I think it is ever possible for me to put it all out in one blog entry, but here are some notes that I managed to jot down.

1) There is a sense of false assumption that had been taken up by women that she can only be herself when she follows the definition and standard of being a woman that is being set by man, society, fashion and media.

What women should strive to be is not to achieve those standards set by man, society, fashion and media, but is measured on a much higher scale, which is piousness, taqwa.

2) Seek the perfection that could be found in God. Completion can't be found other than Him. Never ever think that you're "incomplete" or "deficient" until you reach marriage. No prince can complete you. No knight can save you. Only God can.

3) true liberation and empowerment lies in the freeing of oneself from the standards of man and society. Only focus on being a servwnt to the true Master, that is God.

4) Imaan in our hearts could be faded like clothes that we wear. Make du'a to Allah to make it constant. Seek ways to restart your imaan.

5) believe in Allah and trust in Him. Take lessons from what you see around you and apply that lessons into your personal life.

6) Kick Syaitan away from you. Know that he is very weak and don't give him way. Making rememberance to Allah, saying A'uzubillah and replacing bad habits with good ones are the ways to keep syaitan away.

7) A knowledgeable muslimah is a smart, beautiful, storng and capable of doing anything.

8) Sometimes we are too busy chains the dunya that we forget Allah. The Quran is there to guide us back.

9) Islamic feminism is unlike feminism in the west. It focuses on the nature of the way how women are created. Being feminine, having empathy and emotion are not signs of weakness, but instead it is our strength. Islamic feminism is not about being equal and the same as being like a man.

10) Know that there is no single way of being a good muslim woman, there are many ways of becoming one. There is much more to a woman than being a mother. In the Quran and sirah, we've heard about the Queen of Sheeba (Balqis), Asiyah (Pharoah's wife), Khadijah, A'isyah, Fatimah and many more who played much bigger role in the society and nation. They are our role models.

11) A gift, given by the one we love, must be held in the hand and not in the heart. When the gift is taken away, it will create pain in the hand, but it is not as hurtful as the pain if it was held in the heart because it is something we are not dependent upon. If we felt pain in the heart when the gift is taken away, then know that it's because we have attached that to our hearts and know that we have put it in the wrong place. What is held in the hand could be easily put down, do not put Allah there.

12) Be aware to not put aside God because of the gift. Do not ask to take away air because of the necklace, which will eventually choke us to death.

13) Suffering begins when we confuse the ends with the means. Allah is the ends, the gifts are the means.

14) If the fact that our worship tomAllah feels like a burden, then it is a sign that we have not seen and love Allah with our hearts. Because naturally, serving a loved one will feel like an honour rather than a burden.



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Thoughts about my journey in research and writing so far

Hi there,

Finally some spare time for me to pen some thoughts in this forgotten blog(s). Some update regarding myself, I've been really busy in the past few months trying to get all the correct results and start writing my thesis. Last week, I've finally handed in my first draft to my supervisor for checking and now I'm patiently waiting for the correction instructions (or maybe a red duct tape wrapped around the whole stack of papers with a note on it saying "This is SHIT" -in Steve Jobs kind of way).



Doing this Master's business is not really as dandy as I (or anyone) thought it would be. I don't know what is the correct way to succeed in this thing. Work hard? Work smart? Work differently? Don't work at all? The formula is different for different people.

But what does work is determination to reach the end. In one piece with every limb intact. Just do anything you need to do to get to the end. It is a rough road.

Maybe that is just me. I've never had good experiences with thesis writing. The first time I did in my undergrad, I think I went semi-crazy and drove away some friends. The second time for my first Master's degree, I was hospitalised for some unknown pain in my abdomen. I don't know why I've decided to go through it again for the third time? Fortunately, I've not been hospitalised (but I've visited the hospital a few times now for the knee issue), or totally cut myself off from society. So I hope keep it this way for a few more months until it's done.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Impromptu New Year's resolution

This is a new one made at the spur of the moment decision.
I enrolled myself with a gym.

The pain in my knee is not getting any better, rather i have a feeling it is getting worse. It's hard to explain what the pain feels like. There are days I can't straighten my leg properly due to the pain. And there are days when I could straighten them. Then on top of that, on most days, there's a dull throbbing pain circling around inside the knee. One day i could feel like it's pulling some ligaments on the left side and on another day, it's on the right side. Crazy right? If i told this to a shaman, maybe he would say there's a spirit living in my knee. Ceh.

I actually wanted to go for surgery last October 2011 because I can't stand the pain and I wanted to take up running like everyone else (yes, it's a fad right now). Although was really scared about the operation, after reading about one guy's experience where he suffered a lot of pain afterwards and the thought of having a big needle poking into my back and my knee sends chills down my spine, but whatever, i was determined. But the specialist said I better not because I have hypermobility (or in other words, i'm double jointed). The surgery would make things worst than it is now. Phew, thank God!

The good doctor said the only way to improve my condition is to strengthen the leg muscle. Do exercise and stuff. So i did, diligently. For a month.
Then I got bored. Same routine. The last time i was at the gym was last december. Or november.. I can't remember. The pain is back and I'm not motivated to go downstairs and do training.

So, after talking to the some ppl inside the fitness club, they said they could arrage a physiotherapist to help me with my knee. Good. And after doing some haggling, i got 14 days free trial instead of the normal 7. But still it is expensive for me, a poor student. But for the sake of my knee, to avoid being a grumpy person and for my mobility, I have to. (walking around with a stick could be cool, maybe).

So, this three months is going to be a super busy one for me as I am going to make my money's worth (kiasu liddat ma) and hope that my knee gets better with some muscle training. Also hopefully the side effect of this is my body will look as good as Priyanka Chopra. Right.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Websites I Found

• Pick The Brain 

I love productivity and motivational websites. Motivation is a constant wavering thing within me. I could be fueled with positivity for a day, a week or two and feel the total opposite, fearing the bleak future in the next following day. Pick The Brain is one of them, having useful articles that I could use. I just pick one of the articles that is related to certain areas that I am lacking, and read them.Hopefully at the end of it, I'll see a silver lining.

• Bitch In a Bonnet 

This is website I chanced upon by luck of Google search terms. I am currently reading Jane Austen's Mansfield Park and was intrigued to read and understand more about the characters, mainly Fanny Price and Henry Crawford. This guy covered 3 Jane Austen books with detailed and satirical musings.

• Wondermark

Amusing piece of comics that has a feel of ye olden days of yore. The 'feel' goes together with the book I'm currently reading, Mansfield Park.

• Serenity

This is a real gem. A collection of podcasts given by sister Yasmin. Topics mainly revolves around Muslims lives. Her podcast are good and most of the time it makes me realise, masyaallah, I should have done better with my life.

• The Holstee Manifesto

The goal is to self-actualise yourself

Three semesters (second last one, i hope!) into my Master's research and thesis, and it reminds me of the same feeling I had when I was doing my final year studies as an undergrad...

I hated it.
And I can't wait to start working.

A stark difference compared to the little work experience that I had, at least there's "some" feeling of attachment, even it if is a "Love-Hate" feeling towards my work.

There were reasons why I decided to take up grad school. Serious reasons, realistic reasons, weird reasons and escapism. Most of them revolves around security. It does make logic sense to follow this route. Plus my dad is in the academic route, and the prospects are quite good.

Logic of the brain may not always serves to the heart's content.

Thanks The Grey Zone. You're da bomb!

I am not sure where I fall in Maslow's pyramid of The Hierarchy of Needs, but if it was to be built, maybe it wouldn't look like a pyramid at all or maybe I'm halfway completed? IDK.

Kualiti atau Kuantiti

Solat Fardhu hanya ada 5 sahaja. Rata-rata di masjid kalau solat berjemaah, kita ambil masa lebih kurang 15-20 minit untuk tunaikan. Dan kalau solat sendirian, mungkin 10-15 minit untuk selesaikan tanggungjawab. Ada juga yang solat 5-10 minit sahaja. Ikut kelajuan masing-masing.

Malam tadi terdengar rancangan muhasabah diri di kristal televisyen ('kristal' sebab LCD) yang berkata tentang kepentingan menyempurnakan solat. Ada satu bahagian yang disentuh penceramah mengenai bacaan Al- Fatihah yang, dengan lidah Melayu, biasanya silap disebut.

Poin-nya disini ialah, kalau salah sebutan bacaan, maka tak sempurna lah solat. Tak dapat 100% full score. Lebih teruk lagi, mungkin 0%. Macam mana pada Hari Pengadilan nanti, bila neraca timbang senget sebelah ke arah ...

Solat fardhu perlu dititik beratkan. Bermula dengan wudhuk. Ada beberapa perkara yang mungkin kita (sebenarnya, saya) terlepas :

1) elakkan buka paip besar2 macam air terjun. Membazir itu amalan syaitan. Go easy with the water tap.
2) air tak kena SELURUH anggota wudhuk. Bila basuh tangan sampai ke siku, pastikan BELAKANG siku juga kena air.
3) Gunakan tangan untuk sapu air ke celah2 jari kaki. Jangan geli pegang kaki sendiri. Tujuan wudhuk utk sucikan anggota badan itu.

... Yang diatas hanya antara beberapa perkara. Ada lagi yang lain, secara amnya pastikan air kena seluruh bahagian anggota yang wajib.

Berbalik kepada solat, pangkalnya syarat sah solat perlu dititik beratkan. Pay attention to the details. Niat, takbir, Al-Fatihah dan seterusnya... Sampai kepada tertib. Pergi belajar dengan guru mengenai cara-cara solat yang sempurna. Itu tanggungjawab kita sebagai hamba Allah. Perfecting our skills and performance. Macam KPI if you want to look at it that way.

Sayang sangat kalau kita solat 3-20 minit tunggang terbalik, tapi semua tak sempurna atau lebih teruk lagi. Iya, mungkin kita mengejar masa. Akan tetapi apalah sangat masa yang kita kejarkan berbanding dengan masa yang diluangkan untuk menyempurnakan solat untuk Allah. Long term investment, surely like me, you believe in the Day of Judgement.

Forever is a very, very, very.... Long time.

Solat membentuk akhlak. Benar, kalau insan yang bersolat itu memahami intipati solat. Faham di akal dan menghayati sepenuh hati apa yang dibaca. Percaya dengan apa yang dibaca.

Jadinya disini, saya merasakan kualiti ibadah saya perlu diperbaiki. Kuantiti juga penting. Tapi titik beratkan kualiti. Sebab menurut buah fikiran saya kalau memberi 1 biji buah durian yang elok lebih baik daripada memberi 10 biji buah durian yang tak elok. Akan tetapi, kalau kita beri 10 biji buah durian yang berkualiti, lagi baguskan?

Wallahu'alam.

Fell free to share your opinion / berkongsi pendapat.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

04_A habit that you wish you didn't have

I've shared a couple of 'habit kicking' "experiments" in the past. Coffee and Facebooking. These are the few things that I consumed everyday (or actually consumed me, instead). Not going to tell it again, but you can read them here (kicking coffee or Facebook (1), Facebook (2), Facebook (3)).

Now if there's is a habit that I really, REALLY wanted to ditch, it would be 'easily-distracted-and-amused-by-the-internet'.

I think you might also be familiar with this situation... you open your emails or facebook or twitter and start to read the time line. While scrolling down, somebody posted a link that looks interesting (like : Ipad2 is coming to Malaysia soon! Link). You go, 'Ooooh, an INTERESTING LINK!' and proceeded to click. 1 hour and 10 browser tabs later, you have clicked through dozens of "interesting" links, watched 5 cat videos, read news from 5 different news papers and  commented on 10 blogs. It's like a bad habit on a very loooong chain of links (pun intended).

I am not saying all of the sites I've visited are time wasters. Most of them are informational and productivity related but it stalled the actual work that I should be doing. How ironic is it when reading productivity blogs is the main cause of your un-productivity?

Come to think of it, I did gave a Toastmaster's speech regarding this particular topic (Managing Distractions). I should go back and read that again. Nampak gaya macam cakap tak serupa bikin :P

But here's the golden key-->
Actually to break a habit, you have to create a new habit to 'counter' the old habit you are trying to remove. The challenge here is to make the mind to want to reinforce the good habit. As we all might be familiar with, it feels like trying to move a mountain to implement a good habit, but it doesn't have to be that way if we have fun and enjoy working on the new habit. Keep the motivation and momentum going!

=)

If wishes were pens, beggars would write... novels

The New Islamic year has come and gone. (saya dah berhijrah, anda bila lagi?) Now 2010 is following suit. Since 2010 days are numbered (to only 5 days), I think it is best to review what have I achieved this year.

I didn't write a post about my 2010 resolutions, but I did try something new (recommended by Dieya) and created a Vision board using a FB app last January. I also printed it out and pasted it in my journal so that I am able to look at it whenever I pen something down.

Here it is:

A picture tells a thousand words, right? You can only guess what's going through my mind when I created this vision board.

About 30-40% of the compiled images above have materialised. Well, I'm not complaining because some things needs meticulous planning that takes more than a year to achieve. But I'm making my way towards them. It's in the works, like having a hot-bod like Jillian or going to NYC & Taj Mahal or go sailing in a yatch. And some didn't came true, like Roger didn't win this year's Wimbledon, or the US and French Open (but on the bright side, he won the Australian Open and we all liked how the blue court always complements his shirt colour and wavy hair). Somehow Xtina got divorced (Odd, how did she end up on my board anyway?) and Moto Droid is soo 2009.

Other simpler Visual goals (comfy sofas) and (riding horses) has also been achieved and acquired. Which I think is awesome. These kind of vision goals are easy because they're quite specific.

I would not recommend you to use on-line vision board hosting like the FB app because a few weeks back, the server was down for a few days and I almost thought that I've lost my board in the virtual limbo. And that is why kids, you should always make a back-up of anything digital thing that you cherish.

Anyways, there are other things that occurred, that I didn't put up on the board. I think these things are one of the biggest milestone and in a way turned my life around.

1. I quit my job (I've been wanting to do it since 2008, but I was in a 'love-hate' relationship with my job at the time that I can't decide to leave or to stay).
   ... but before that, my job had enabled me to go places (literally and figuratively) and seek my true potential...
   
2. Travelled to CPH (thx to M0t0). Although it was a heavy duty work trip, but that trip back to Europe was really 'refreshing' and did me good.
3. Got promoted. Finally after 5 long years, I am senior engineer with adequate experience in Rx and flex design and system testing.
4. Complete 3 Toastmasters speeches and joined other activities which involves some sort of giving-back-to-the-community theme. Had serious fun. Ha!
5. Inspired young padawans. Gave pep talks to young engineers

There were also some disappointments and losses in 2010 that marked the year with dark shadows...

• the loss of 3 close relatives
• the loss of precious data on hard disks. it's more depressing than losing the computer itself. DAMN you THIEF!
• the disappointment of rejections (of my ideas).

All in all, 2010 in summary is a year filled with many ups and downs. happiness and sadness, anger and frustrations. clarity and ambiguity, fear, doubts, dreads and convincingly sure of my path. It's impossible for me to sum it up in words. I am just thankful that I am given the chance to live another year and improve myself for better. Alhamdulillah.

To all of my friends, blogger friends and readers who I know personally,  I hoped that you all had a very good run in 2010. Let's keep on moving and continue to improve ourselves for the better in 2011 and may all your wishes and dreams come true.

Happy New Year =)

The Elephant in the Room

I read a letter written by a guy lamenting his woes to the world about having to fight his inner 'demons' on a daily basis. Even though this brother says he is married, but he still can't curb his urges. And who does he blame for all his problem? Women.(!!!)    To him, that is just one simple word to sum up all the evil that is going on in his loins.

I do agree with you brother, on some points, but you can't just blame us women for your own problems.

Yes, I do agree with him that all women should cover up to guard their modesty. But in this world we are living now, it is very difficult to have that ideal kind of living. Even in our own 1Msia, we have various kind of people living in this country and we all know how 'un-modest' some people can be nowadays in terms of dressing, let a lone behaviour.

Yes, I do agree that life can be rough sometimes. I don't know about you, but for me I feel that as a Muslim, living in this modern world today is not without its own challenges, not just in my own Islamic country, but also in the rest of the world.

Put aside the negative stereotyping by others and mischiefs done by 'irrelevant believers' that caused the stereotyping to start, our iman are still being 'attacked' and tested from every known angle whether we are aware of it or not. There's temptations coming from the TV, cinemas, Internet, books, songs in radio, neighbours, people on the street and many more. It is very difficult to go around one day without having to face these temptations, unless you're living as a hermit in a cave on top of a mountain without any means of communication and contact with the rest of the world (but temptations could come in many forms too).

For example, say you wanted to go to a site to look at innocent and funny pictures of cute cats and kittens, but the adverts that supports these sites are far from 'innocent'. Then one of the scenes in the latest HPotter movies is also quite 'suggestive', even if it was a movie about kids fighting evil wizard with magic. Top songs on the billboard, sings about profanities and body parts and still we whistle to its tune because it's 'catchy'.

My point is, temptations are every where around us. A few ways to guard yourself is to see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil and do no evil.

I am going to share a website that could help this brother and others. The topic that it discusses might be different from his actual problem, but in some ways is quite similar. Even if you don't have this kind of problem, I would still suggest you watch and listen to it because we can learn something useful.

I've come across one very interesting and informational website driven by a brother who talks about the 'elephant in the room' - problem of porn addiction in the muslim community. Yes, I said that right, 'porn' and 'muslim' in the same sentence. He says that the porn industry is one of the most lucrative industry and generates the most money in US. Sex really does sell huh?

With Internet access, practically anyone in this world have access to porn. A shocking statistic data reveals that the half of the Top 10 countries accessing porn sites are Islamic countries! Quite shameful as it is, but numbers don't lie. These countries should change their names either to Pornistan or Pornisia. (Even saying 'porn' like half a dozen of times in just this entry might just have increased the traffic to this blog alone!).

Porn addiction, like any other disturbing addictions (like drugs, gambling, alcohol drinking,etc) are a disease that needs to be treated. Normally people collectively would scorn and scowl upon these addicts and eventually these actions will push away these helpless people away from the community and Allah. Once they're a far distance away from Allah and a strong supportive community, it is much easier for syaitan to enter and control their hearts and actions.

Link: www.purifyyourgaze.com


What I'm trying to say is, we can't avoid being in this troubling environment, it is something beyond one's control (unless one is very powerful and decides to revolutionise the whole media world itself). We can tell the whole world to cover up, but they just won't. But if there is one thing that you can control, and that is yourself. To purify your gaze, you must break the isolation, define your sobriety, master your emotion and use the problem as a way to find Allah SWT. May we all be under His guidance.

Link: www.purifyyourgaze.com

Hey, you're living my imiginary dreams

Everybody (roughly) has an idea of what kind of life they have "planned" for themselves. Myself for example, have set out a sort-of a "draft" timeline for myself starting when I was in primary school (thanks to the straight trainline track set by the country's education system and also my parents). Believe it or not, but it's scribbled/ doodled on my scrapbook.

A short summary, score the standard 6 primary school exam and go to that all girls school in town (even if it means having to sit on a bus until my backside fell asleep, yes it was that long of a journey). Work hard for the Form Three exam and get myself into a boarding school then somehow find my way to university. Well, you get the gist...  My point is, you would have in one way or another have thought up your 'ideal' life or way of living, once, at least.

If your desire to live the dream is strong enough, it will become your motivation that drives you towards that goal. And you know what they say about the Power of Attraction.

But then, what or how would you feel when you found out (after doing the math and statistics and calculating the probabilities) that you are nowhere near that ideals of the conjured up life you always wanted to live in? and what's worse, you found out that there is another person who is living your dreams and achieves the goals that you always wanted to?

Envy of that person and feeling kinda smuck for yourself, of course. Pretty normal feeling for a human being.

However, there's no reason to wallow in another's achievements. So what if that person received that Nobel Prize that you always dreamed of? So what...? Just create a new set of 'ideals', forget the past and just move on. Jump head first if you need. It is an exciting world out there with countless of opportunities and experiences waiting to be captured! It is never to late to start anew.

And wallowing is just a waste of time. You are missing a lot on the exciting things that's currently happening  around you because you're too busy focusing on things that didn't even happen. Rugi kan?

Stop feeling so bad for yourself that you forget to live in the NOW.

Eid Mubarak  =)

Alive and Well

As of 7pm today, it would be the end of my 7days off FB.

And guess what folks?

I survived!

... and my world didn't fell apart. In the course of 7 days without, I have read a dozen of technical papers, written a review paper (still in draft version) and read sooo many articles online (I'm learning to accept that reading on an LCD screen is the new way to go rather than on tangible paper). All in all, I think it's a very successful week indeed.

Like any other psychological mindtrap applications,  there was quite a lot of resistance at first, psychologically. For example:-

• I kept wondering what's going on in the lives of other people? Like I couldn't just call, email or visit their blogs to find out.
• I get restless when I'm idle. Like waiting for the traffic lights, waiting for the tv advert to finish, standing in elevators. (the evil of FB Mobile makes you connected 24-7).
• My fingers will automatically click to FB login page. I'd hover on the login button for sometime and fight against my my cravings/nafsu. (Adakah ini satu jihad? IDK.)

I've read a chapter on this book 'focus' by Zen Habits writer. You can get the free version here: focusfree. It's about the beauty of disconnection and focusing on doing things. Leo says that if you want to break a habit, find the trigger and change into something positive. So here's what I did:-

• Whenever I feel like I wanted to 'update my status', instead of going to facebook, I'd go to other websites to read some more or if I'm tired of reading, I'd do some Lolz.
• If there's still a burning emotion to 'update status' or just comment on something then I'd go to Twitter. I only have small circle of friends there. So it's still under control.
• I go make a sandwich.
• I do some workouts.

There you go. Now instead of waiting for the newsfeed page to refresh, I'm reading useful stuff, filled my tummy with a good snack and have a healthier body.

What's next?

I will not be dropping off from the surface of FB world (still need to maintain network and catch up with friends), but I won't be on it as much as I used to. Getting things done is my main priority (and then some blogging). I am also contemplating to terminate my friendster's account (who uses friendster anyway? that is sooo 2003... anyone? raise your hands plz), but that's not until I figure out a way to save all the photos from that site.

 

 (ps: if you missed it, as I mentioned before, this book is worth a read if you're thinking about changing some habits that's hard to kill: focusfree)